Expanding My Horizons

So today, my mom and I got this crazy hair to buy Viking runes.

Some quick background:

I was raised Christian and still live in a pretty Christian household, all things considered.  A few years ago, I got curious about other things and tapped into my friend Dorothy, who is a self proclaimed "alter crossing Wiccan" who practices "Dorothy-ism".  She gave me a set of Goddess cards that I carry with me everywhere and adore and is kind of my go to guide for all things Pagan and Wiccan.

My curiosity and wonder just keeps growing.

(Maybe this seems strange to you.  If this sort of thing bugs you, this is your chance to leave.)

And I'm still learning, daily.  Like, I've only just now realized that there are many Gods and Goddesses up in the pantheon and that the myths are all based in belief.

I'm a slow learner sometimes.

Anyway, back to the story.

So I've been building a basic alter in my room, putting in candles and things that I think fit right.  I'm not sure who it's for, but it's a start.  I am also in the process of learning about my herbs and how to make remedies, which are all part of it.  Started a dream journal this week because I dreamed a red-headed Norse god told me to, and every dream this week has had some form of Gods or Goddesses in them.

I've also developed a deep curiosity for runes and decided I wanted a set.

I brought it up at breakfast while mom and I were out; she's pretty cool about being open minded, all things considered.

"Oh yeah," she said.  "I used to read those.  They told me I was having you and your sister.  I don't know what happened to mine, though.  Maybe I should get a new set, too."

And thus, we packed up and went to the local bookstore (not where you normally would think to go for this but it seemed like a good idea) to see what they had.  I said a little prayer to myself before we went, just telling whoever is watching over me that if this was supposed to happen, let it happen.

It was supposed to happen.

We walked in and greeting us in the outer lobby of the store were shelves of Viking mythology, Celtic mythology, and various other things on Gods and Goddesses and fate.

Oh, and there were rune kits, with books and stones included.

And did I mention that I had almost exactly enough to purchase my copy?  I think I have like fifty cents left over.

(Mom also bought a set.  Mind blown, in a good way.)

There's a lot of energy in them.  Just carrying the box around with me made my palms tingle and get hot.

So, they are in the bag now, sitting on my bed, waiting for me to figure out what to do with them.

(I don't really like the bag they came with, so I'm going to either make a new bag or buy a new bag. We'll see which.)

I'm excited.

On top of that, my mom and I had a really nice time out.  I'm on spring break still, so it's been nice procrastinating on stuff and spending time with my mom.  She has cataracts and can't see well enough to drive, so I've been taking her out and stuff this week.

I would say today was a very good day. :)

~Meaghan

No Snow!

It's Tuesday, it's spring break, and there is no snow.  I think I'm a pretty happy girl, to be honest.

I really haven't been doing a whole lot recently, so it's a little hard to blog because there is so little to report.

My friend had her transfusions yesterday and is doing well.  The feeling of death we both had been feeling a few weeks ago has passed; she believes (and I agree) that it was actually fortelling the breaking of her current marriage.  Which is sad, but I know she'll be okay.

A friend and I went out last night for dinner.  I had my first drink since July (suck it, liver disease) and it was great.  The conversation and catch up was nice, since we both are crazy busy, and the food was pretty good too.

All in all, I think this break is going well.

I'm pretty happy is relax time.

Enjoy your Tuesday, my dear readers. :)

~Meaghan

Spring Break!!

It's here, it's here!

I am crazy happy that spring break has finally made it.  And the weather today is beautiful and warm and breezy and exactly what I want from a day of spring.

Which, interestingly enough, today is the first day of spring.  At least, it is if you're in the U.S.  If you're on the other side of the date line, this happened for you yesterday.

(We're learning about date lines and all sorts of stuff in my maps class.  It's causing me to think about how the time zones and international date line and all that fun stuff makes time so irrelevant in a way. )

So, I've been watching this really awesome show.  It's called Cosmos and is based on the original show by Carl Sagan.  The current one is hosted by Neil DeGrasse Tyson, and it's brilliant.  I love it.  And if you haven't seen it, I seriously encourage you to check it out, my dear readers.  It is worth the hour or two of your time.

This is why I do science.  This reminds me of that.

(And kind of makes me wish I was going into Astro Physics instead of Environmental Science.  I am connected to the earth, but my love of space exploration will always be present.  Seriously, I still have the telescope I got when I was in second grade.  The stars will always have a piece of my heart.)

Ah, it feels so good to not be stressed out right now.

This is the first day this week that I haven't felt the overwhelming sadness of late.  It's the first day that the sad sad music isn't the only thing that makes sense, that fanfiction is more fun than obsessive, that I laughed more than anything else.  I felt so good I was even able to knit on the train ride home.

This is good.  This is progress.  This is the sadness backing off and me enjoying the sun again.  I can not express how wonderful that feels.

Still feeling odd feelings about things, though.  Like about getting married next year and stuff.  But I think that goes with the fact that I am so young.  I have been told it's normal, and I'm okay with this.  And I think some of it might be the sadness talking as well.  So I really need to stop listening to it.

Plans for break?

Muppet movie, homework, kicking back, maybe going for drinks (not drunk - wallet and liver can't handle that), and maybe bowling.  Laying low, mostly.

And now, off to relax with some Poptarts. =D

~Meaghan

Soon, Spring Break

Honestly, it's not like I'm even doing anything exciting for spring break.  I'm not going anywhere exotic, or at all.  I'm not getting drunk, I'm not partying it up, I'm not headed for Key West.  It sounds crazy boring, right?

Wrong.

Do you have any idea how nice it's going to be to actually get to sleep past seven in the morning and to not have to drag my tush to the train station, ride the train forty minutes to school, and then sit through classes that hardly make sense to me at this point????

Alright, that sounds kind of bad.  I don't hate school.  I don't.  It's just, as I've mentioned before on here, this semester is kicking my ass into the ground.  I am worn down and need a break.

And riding the train is kind of fun.  It goes fast and it gives me a sense of responsibility, as I have to make sure I catch it at the right times and get off at the right stops.  I've learned how to nap while still keeping track of train stops.  If that isn't something awesome, then I don't know what is.

When I was in community college, working on my writing degree, school was really easy for me.  This feels like a bit of a dirty confession, typing that.  But it was.  It was crazy easy for me.  Writing is in my blood.  It's one of the few things in life that comes naturally to me.  I was able to do rough drafts of poems and creative non-fiction essays then day before I had to have them ready for peer review and they would seemingly write themselves.  And while some of them were crap, most of them were somewhat good.

Science is a whole other ball game.  It's like being on Vulcan.  Half of the stuff doesn't make sense to me, and I am literally crawling through these classes as if I'm in a pit and my finger nails are the only thing holding me up.  The only class I have an A in right now is my music class, and that is because I'm musically inclined.

Why am I doing this to myself?  Why am I taking classes that make me feel so dumb?

Because when it works, it works beautifully.  And that satisfaction, I'm learning, is a huge pay off.

And because continuing an English path does not appeal to me.  I don't want to necessarily write stories for a living, though writing on the side is good.  I don't really want to teach about nuances and deeper meanings and the structure of a sentence to high school kids.

I did the writing because it was fun and I enjoyed it.

I'm doing science because it's my calling.

I need to be outside.  I need to be in the open air and in the trees.  I can't be cooped up.  I get so depressed when I lose my connection with nature.

That is why.

And damn, spring break is going to be well earned.

So, what's the check list to get done between now and then?

~Stats homework
~Chem homework
~Another paper in music
~Reading in all my classes

Today is Wed.  I'm updating this from school.  That means that when I get home today after Chemistry, I should be able to sit down and work on stuff.  So I can do this.  I can do this.

My friend is starting blood transfusions on Monday.  She's moving this weekend.  I think Trev and I are going to try to help her finish up.  I am still pretty worried about what could happen, but I can't dwell.  I have to trust that she's going to be okay, that this is going to be okay.

I'm back to writing with a passion and fury.  Blogging daily again is helping.  Plus, I have a few notebooks with me.  I forgot how much I need to release the stuff in my head.  It gets awfully full in there.

Alright, time to get lunch and head to class.

Spring break soon.  Spring break soon.

~Meaghan