Hello lovely readers!
So here is kind of an update of what's been going on with me since I last wrote a post about what's going on in my life.
Last semester I ended up opting to graduate and drop student teaching. There were a lot of factors involved, some including me being burned out, some including other people making decisions for me that were not theirs to make. I'm not going to lie, I was angry about it for a long time because in the end, I felt like I didn't really make the choice but rather had it forced on me.
But things have a way of working how they need to, and this was no different.
I currently work at a middle school with students with severe needs. It's so very different from what I went to school for (English Ed) but it's been so good for me. The first two weeks were stressful and I didn't know if I could do it. But going into week three, I realize I know how to do my job and I actually enjoy it. I feel better about teaching and working, and the experience I'm getting is invaluable to when I run my own classroom.
Today I received my Bachelors degree in the mail. It feels so surreal and amazing. I plan to walk in December, and there will be celebrating and all sorts of good things. I feel proud of myself for coming this far, honestly. I now have two college degrees (an Associates and a Bachelors) and the opportunities I have are wide open. It's an amazing feeling. I feel like I can take on anything.
I've also made the choice to student teach next fall. It's something I've been thinking about for a while now, but I'm ready to make that commitment now. There are two, maybe three, ways it can go. But to get into those, I need to back up further.
So my husband's family is all in New Mexico. We currently live with my parents in Colorado. His grandfather had a few strokes last year and could use some help getting around and stuff, and his mom has her hands tied. The decision we've made is that next summer we're going to move down there and live with his grandfather, helping out while getting a huge house to run rent free. It actually is a pretty great deal - we're allowed to do what we want with the house, I can have a garden, we're going to get a puppy, and there's room for us to expand our family in a few years.
How does this affect student teaching?
Well, there was a girl in my class last semester who was moving to Washington and they made it so she could student teach in the program out of state. It's something the school does that I completely forgot about; I just emailed one of my mentors at the school to verify that it can happen. So if we move to New Mexico, I can student teach through my school out of state.
Then, another plan. My husband is finishing his degree and has two semesters left. He has to appeal for financial aid because the government is denying him it, because he has too many credit hours total over his college career. There are two ways this can go, and it's fairly stressful. One, he can finish the appeal process and they'll cover him for this semester and next, and we go ahead with moving, and I student teach out of state. Two, he has to take a semester off and work for a bit, and finishes next fall, which means that I student teach in Colorado next fall and we move during January to New Mexico.
Another plan. We end up staying in Colorado because of the job market and I student teach then get a job here in Colorado.
Final plan, and the one I hope it doesn't come down to. He moves to New Mexico and I stay here a semester to student teach, then move down to join him. I pray this does not happen this way. But if it does, we deal one day at a time.
Regardless, I'll get my license by the end of next year, and he'll hopefully be able to graduate. I plan on getting my sub license as well, so really, my job options are endless.
Anyway, that's what's been going on. A lot more happened over the summer (we went to Disneyland!) but that's for another post.
~Birdie
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label school. Show all posts
Monday, August 28, 2017
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
The Wednesday Post
Hey readers!
I had a Monday post, but I ended up deleting it. It was basically me rambling about stuff while in a depressed mood and honestly, I was kind of embarrassed a few hours after posting, so I took it down.
Not a bad thing.
It happens to all of us.
There is a reason one of my English professors said she burned all her journals when her kids were born.
Sometimes, we write shit we feel weird about later.
(I think I'm going to burn my journals too before I have kids. Too much personal stuff, and embarrassing stuff at that. I made it through, I don't need the reminders of braces boy, my coming of age, and various depressive spells throughout high school and community college.)
I don't know what to write today, though, to be honest.
It's Wednesday, but it's summer and the days are blurring for me.
I was diagnosed with pink eye and a fever today, which explains a lot about why my eye hurts and keeps watering. Might also explain my headaches from the past few days.
I got some spiffy eye drops.
I can't remember the last time something like this happened.
I think it was when I was working with a tutoring company back in 2009?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Kids man.
They spread illness like it's medieval England.
Dunno where I got this one, but I'm glad it's not strep.
I'm realizing school's going to be hell this fall.
The only reason I chose a late class was because I wanted a particular professor.
(She runs ComicCon for my city and is honestly one of my favorite professors. If anyone can make Milton interesting, I'm betting my semester that it's her. I'm going to cry otherwise.)
My sister is also coming to school and has a class earlier and later than me.
I volunteered to stay on campus with her because crime rates have gone up and there's no way in hell I'm not going to be there with her after dark.
So I'm going to be on campus for 12 and a half hours twice a week, only in class for about five of those, and the breaks are spread out in such a way that I can't go home and back easily.
Plus field experience twice a week.
Thank god for escapism, complicated knitting projects, and my friends and husband.
Otherwise, I think I might die.
I hate being downtown to begin with.
I hate being there after dark.
I hate the fear of it and the fact that I have yet to figure out a way to get over it.
We'll see how things go.
I think this about sums up things?
Yeah.
Anxiety is still present in my stomach, and I think it will always be there in a little knot, but it's mellowed some. At least, to the point where I'm back to functioning like a normal person, which thank god for because honestly, it was getting really hard to breathe for a while there.
I've kind of chilled about writing.
I hit that point where I keep hitting a blank wall.
I've tried writing canon characters.
I've tried writing my OCs in the canon and AU verses.
Hell, I tried writing a character for a novel I've had in my head for over two years.
Nothing.
I'm not so much frustrated about it as I am sad.
I didn't realize how much this got me through summer until I couldn't do it anymore.
Maybe a break is good.
But it still makes me sad.
I think I'm trying too hard.
It's supposed to be fun and I'm taking it too seriously.
Learning to relax and go with things is so difficult for me, so it's time to learn, bit by bit.
I live so much by rules...when there are none or I can't make some, it's...I worry I'm doing things wrong.
I'm learning.
Again, like I said at the start of this post, not a bad thing.
It happens to all of us, in different ways.
We learn and grow.
And my eye is stinging again.
I think that's a good place to leave this.
~Birdie
I had a Monday post, but I ended up deleting it. It was basically me rambling about stuff while in a depressed mood and honestly, I was kind of embarrassed a few hours after posting, so I took it down.
Not a bad thing.
It happens to all of us.
There is a reason one of my English professors said she burned all her journals when her kids were born.
Sometimes, we write shit we feel weird about later.
(I think I'm going to burn my journals too before I have kids. Too much personal stuff, and embarrassing stuff at that. I made it through, I don't need the reminders of braces boy, my coming of age, and various depressive spells throughout high school and community college.)
I don't know what to write today, though, to be honest.
It's Wednesday, but it's summer and the days are blurring for me.
I was diagnosed with pink eye and a fever today, which explains a lot about why my eye hurts and keeps watering. Might also explain my headaches from the past few days.
I got some spiffy eye drops.
I can't remember the last time something like this happened.
I think it was when I was working with a tutoring company back in 2009?
Yeah, that sounds about right.
Kids man.
They spread illness like it's medieval England.
Dunno where I got this one, but I'm glad it's not strep.
I'm realizing school's going to be hell this fall.
The only reason I chose a late class was because I wanted a particular professor.
(She runs ComicCon for my city and is honestly one of my favorite professors. If anyone can make Milton interesting, I'm betting my semester that it's her. I'm going to cry otherwise.)
My sister is also coming to school and has a class earlier and later than me.
I volunteered to stay on campus with her because crime rates have gone up and there's no way in hell I'm not going to be there with her after dark.
So I'm going to be on campus for 12 and a half hours twice a week, only in class for about five of those, and the breaks are spread out in such a way that I can't go home and back easily.
Plus field experience twice a week.
Thank god for escapism, complicated knitting projects, and my friends and husband.
Otherwise, I think I might die.
I hate being downtown to begin with.
I hate being there after dark.
I hate the fear of it and the fact that I have yet to figure out a way to get over it.
We'll see how things go.
I think this about sums up things?
Yeah.
Anxiety is still present in my stomach, and I think it will always be there in a little knot, but it's mellowed some. At least, to the point where I'm back to functioning like a normal person, which thank god for because honestly, it was getting really hard to breathe for a while there.
I've kind of chilled about writing.
I hit that point where I keep hitting a blank wall.
I've tried writing canon characters.
I've tried writing my OCs in the canon and AU verses.
Hell, I tried writing a character for a novel I've had in my head for over two years.
Nothing.
I'm not so much frustrated about it as I am sad.
I didn't realize how much this got me through summer until I couldn't do it anymore.
Maybe a break is good.
But it still makes me sad.
I think I'm trying too hard.
It's supposed to be fun and I'm taking it too seriously.
Learning to relax and go with things is so difficult for me, so it's time to learn, bit by bit.
I live so much by rules...when there are none or I can't make some, it's...I worry I'm doing things wrong.
I'm learning.
Again, like I said at the start of this post, not a bad thing.
It happens to all of us, in different ways.
We learn and grow.
And my eye is stinging again.
I think that's a good place to leave this.
~Birdie
Monday, August 11, 2014
Oh Hey There!
Hi there, my dear readers.
I know I have been absent for over two months. A lot has been going on, and I was also completely enjoying my summer break. Seriously. I was at the pool at least three times a week this summer, weather allowing. (We had a few hail storms in there, and it is monsoon season now, but other than that, I've been making an effort to get off my computer and go outside.)
So rather than rehashing everything that has been my summer, I propose we start new.
School starts in one week.
I'm really excited about it. I love being on campus, I love learning new things, and I love doing papers and things. And since I'm now an English Education major, I'm especially excited about this semester. I did not drop my GPA last semester as much as I had feared; I am still in the 3.0 range. It's just not where I would like it and I know I am capable of bringing it back up. Next week is the start of a redemption period for me.
I've started setting little goals for myself each day. The feeling of satisfaction from achieving them is really helpful for me right now. My anxiety has peaked for the first time really since spring and I don't really want to go into details, but little goals help keep it in check.
(I'm also going to be seeing a therapist at the end of the month who is trained to give out medication for my anxiety. After having a panic attack from talking wedding, my fiance, mom, and myself talked about it and decided it was for the best. I have a lot going on and I need to be the best me I can possibly be.)
I did get two scholarships this semester, which is awesome! One is through my dad's main job and one is through his part time job. This is the last year I qualified for the scholarships and I feel really blessed that I got them. Of all the years to get financial help, this one was a biggie.
Wedding plans are going pretty smoothly. I'm trying not to think too much about it, because school is more pressing right now. But the church is reserved (I took in the deposit check today!) and I'm going to be visiting my fiance's family over Thanksgiving break. I'm nervous about that, but everyone is being pretty awesome to me about it. Fiance's best friend's girlfriend has actually friended me on Tumblr and is being above and beyond awesome. So that's pretty cool.
And yeah, I think that about sums everything up for now. I'm planning (now that school is back and I'm on an actual schedule again) to update at least twice a week. I might do more depending on the week. During midterms and finals, it might be less. We will see.
Have a great Monday, dear readers!
~Meaghan
I know I have been absent for over two months. A lot has been going on, and I was also completely enjoying my summer break. Seriously. I was at the pool at least three times a week this summer, weather allowing. (We had a few hail storms in there, and it is monsoon season now, but other than that, I've been making an effort to get off my computer and go outside.)
So rather than rehashing everything that has been my summer, I propose we start new.
School starts in one week.
I'm really excited about it. I love being on campus, I love learning new things, and I love doing papers and things. And since I'm now an English Education major, I'm especially excited about this semester. I did not drop my GPA last semester as much as I had feared; I am still in the 3.0 range. It's just not where I would like it and I know I am capable of bringing it back up. Next week is the start of a redemption period for me.
I've started setting little goals for myself each day. The feeling of satisfaction from achieving them is really helpful for me right now. My anxiety has peaked for the first time really since spring and I don't really want to go into details, but little goals help keep it in check.
(I'm also going to be seeing a therapist at the end of the month who is trained to give out medication for my anxiety. After having a panic attack from talking wedding, my fiance, mom, and myself talked about it and decided it was for the best. I have a lot going on and I need to be the best me I can possibly be.)
I did get two scholarships this semester, which is awesome! One is through my dad's main job and one is through his part time job. This is the last year I qualified for the scholarships and I feel really blessed that I got them. Of all the years to get financial help, this one was a biggie.
Wedding plans are going pretty smoothly. I'm trying not to think too much about it, because school is more pressing right now. But the church is reserved (I took in the deposit check today!) and I'm going to be visiting my fiance's family over Thanksgiving break. I'm nervous about that, but everyone is being pretty awesome to me about it. Fiance's best friend's girlfriend has actually friended me on Tumblr and is being above and beyond awesome. So that's pretty cool.
And yeah, I think that about sums everything up for now. I'm planning (now that school is back and I'm on an actual schedule again) to update at least twice a week. I might do more depending on the week. During midterms and finals, it might be less. We will see.
Have a great Monday, dear readers!
~Meaghan
Monday, May 5, 2014
Oh Hey, It's May
And apparently it's been May for five days (in the U.S.) now.
Huh.
I only have seven more days of classes, and four of those are finals. Oh. And I might not have a final on one of those days.
So actually, I only have six more days of school.
Yayayayayayayay!!!!!!!
At my university, they make use do these teacher evaluations. We had them at community college too, but there they were online and optional. Here at the grown up school (they serve beer on campus, so this must be a big girl school) they pass them out in class and make us fill them out with pencil.
This is only my second semester here. My reviews are usually pretty positive. Like, I'll mention something that bugs me and follow it up with ideas for improvement and something nice to say about the teacher. That sort of thing.
Not today.
Today I was pissed.
I wasn't even upset when I started my evaluation of the class and teacher. Honest. But by the time I finished, my handwriting was a wreck, my hands were shaking, and I was ready to hurt someone. I was still fuming about it when my dad picked me up at the train station (we only have one car, so it works better that way) and when I got home to mom and fiance.
My chemistry class sucks.
I don't even know how to put a positive spin on this except that it was a learning experience and it made me really evaluate what I'm doing with my life. Hence, my degree change.
The teacher is a researcher at heart and has so much trouble explaining everything. The homework is due, but to date we have only gotten one homework assignment graded and handed back to us. I stopped doing the homework because it doesn't matter apparently. Oh, and the stuff covered by the homework isn't on the tests, so good luck there.
I studied for my test last Monday for an hour, because that is what I had. I reviewed everything he told us would be important for this test. And you know what? Out of the entire test (which was essay, btw - I normally like essay, but for chemistry??), I think there was one question that was covered by what he told us to study.
I kind of let everyone have it on my review.
I told them it felt like a weed out class (where the curriculum is designed to make the students fail) even though it's a general requirement for all the science degrees at my university. And then I basically told them to fuck themselves by saying it worked and that I had changed my degree because of it.
Ugh.
Writing this has me worked up again. Damn.
Well, happy thought time. Summer, pool, swimming every day, birthday, etc.
Alright, parents have shown up with food. Time to eat dinner and get ready for another exciting day of things.
Goodnight, dear readers. Goodnight.
~Meaghan
Huh.
I only have seven more days of classes, and four of those are finals. Oh. And I might not have a final on one of those days.
So actually, I only have six more days of school.
Yayayayayayayay!!!!!!!
At my university, they make use do these teacher evaluations. We had them at community college too, but there they were online and optional. Here at the grown up school (they serve beer on campus, so this must be a big girl school) they pass them out in class and make us fill them out with pencil.
This is only my second semester here. My reviews are usually pretty positive. Like, I'll mention something that bugs me and follow it up with ideas for improvement and something nice to say about the teacher. That sort of thing.
Not today.
Today I was pissed.
I wasn't even upset when I started my evaluation of the class and teacher. Honest. But by the time I finished, my handwriting was a wreck, my hands were shaking, and I was ready to hurt someone. I was still fuming about it when my dad picked me up at the train station (we only have one car, so it works better that way) and when I got home to mom and fiance.
My chemistry class sucks.
I don't even know how to put a positive spin on this except that it was a learning experience and it made me really evaluate what I'm doing with my life. Hence, my degree change.
The teacher is a researcher at heart and has so much trouble explaining everything. The homework is due, but to date we have only gotten one homework assignment graded and handed back to us. I stopped doing the homework because it doesn't matter apparently. Oh, and the stuff covered by the homework isn't on the tests, so good luck there.
I studied for my test last Monday for an hour, because that is what I had. I reviewed everything he told us would be important for this test. And you know what? Out of the entire test (which was essay, btw - I normally like essay, but for chemistry??), I think there was one question that was covered by what he told us to study.
I kind of let everyone have it on my review.
I told them it felt like a weed out class (where the curriculum is designed to make the students fail) even though it's a general requirement for all the science degrees at my university. And then I basically told them to fuck themselves by saying it worked and that I had changed my degree because of it.
Ugh.
Writing this has me worked up again. Damn.
Well, happy thought time. Summer, pool, swimming every day, birthday, etc.
Alright, parents have shown up with food. Time to eat dinner and get ready for another exciting day of things.
Goodnight, dear readers. Goodnight.
~Meaghan
Sunday, April 27, 2014
I Have Finals Brain
And finals aren't for another two weeks.
Good lord, I am so done.
I can't even remember the last time I updated this. Was it this month? I'm pretty sure I updated earlier this month. Right?
So, let's assume I didn't. Here is a bullet point of my life at the moment:
~I no longer want to punch Owen Wilson in the face (I saw Zoolander with fiance and it was hilarious. Refer to this post if you don't know what I'm talking about.)
~I've been officially accepted into the education program at school, which means I'll be able to start taking education classes as soon as I finish my English core requirements (hurrah for teaching English to middle and high schoolers!)
~I feel infinitely better about college than I have in ages it seems
~Three year anniversary with fiance is approaching. We've made a deal not to get presents for each other but rather to take ourselves to a nice lunch courtesy of our change jar and then go to the park and feed the ducks.
~Three weeks left of school and I don't even care anymore.
~I had a dream that Tom Hiddleston, the British actor who is Loki in the Avengers and is also in this other show I've discovered (Wallander, if anyone is curious - it's a great Swedish cop show), was at Subway with me. He was completely polite and kept asking me what was good on the menu. Dream me was like "Dude, I don't know, I order the same stuff almost every time" and didn't think it odd that he had never been to Subway.
~I've started roller skating lessons. They are hard and great workouts. I'm like the oldest one in my group but I don't care. (I did at first, but now I'm enjoying myself too much to.) I don't know if I want to eventually do derby or if I'm happy just skating. We'll see as time plays out.
~I'm really excited to not work this summer. I think this is the first summer I'll have had off since 2008. I'm going nuts thinking of all the stuff I'm going to accomplish.
~Which also includes wedding planning. That kicks up soon. I'm back to looking at bridal magazines, which is a positive step. (When I was super stressed out for that period of time earlier this semester, I couldn't even think about getting married. I didn't even want to do cuddle or spend time with fiance. He was so awesome about the whole thing - yet another reason why I'm marrying that boy.)
And I know there is more but I slept crappy last night and I'm tired and brain fried from studying for a chemistry test tomorrow and yeah.
All I want is to cuddle up with Netflix (which I finally caved and got a few weeks ago) and watch some comedies or something.
I haven't forgotten you, dear readers. When I get my head out from the sand, I will return.
Be good to yourselves.
~Meaghan
(And I totally typed that with a British accent in my head, due to watching too much BBC. Awesome.)
Good lord, I am so done.
I can't even remember the last time I updated this. Was it this month? I'm pretty sure I updated earlier this month. Right?
So, let's assume I didn't. Here is a bullet point of my life at the moment:
~I no longer want to punch Owen Wilson in the face (I saw Zoolander with fiance and it was hilarious. Refer to this post if you don't know what I'm talking about.)
~I've been officially accepted into the education program at school, which means I'll be able to start taking education classes as soon as I finish my English core requirements (hurrah for teaching English to middle and high schoolers!)
~I feel infinitely better about college than I have in ages it seems
~Three year anniversary with fiance is approaching. We've made a deal not to get presents for each other but rather to take ourselves to a nice lunch courtesy of our change jar and then go to the park and feed the ducks.
~Three weeks left of school and I don't even care anymore.
~I had a dream that Tom Hiddleston, the British actor who is Loki in the Avengers and is also in this other show I've discovered (Wallander, if anyone is curious - it's a great Swedish cop show), was at Subway with me. He was completely polite and kept asking me what was good on the menu. Dream me was like "Dude, I don't know, I order the same stuff almost every time" and didn't think it odd that he had never been to Subway.
~I've started roller skating lessons. They are hard and great workouts. I'm like the oldest one in my group but I don't care. (I did at first, but now I'm enjoying myself too much to.) I don't know if I want to eventually do derby or if I'm happy just skating. We'll see as time plays out.
~I'm really excited to not work this summer. I think this is the first summer I'll have had off since 2008. I'm going nuts thinking of all the stuff I'm going to accomplish.
~Which also includes wedding planning. That kicks up soon. I'm back to looking at bridal magazines, which is a positive step. (When I was super stressed out for that period of time earlier this semester, I couldn't even think about getting married. I didn't even want to do cuddle or spend time with fiance. He was so awesome about the whole thing - yet another reason why I'm marrying that boy.)
And I know there is more but I slept crappy last night and I'm tired and brain fried from studying for a chemistry test tomorrow and yeah.
All I want is to cuddle up with Netflix (which I finally caved and got a few weeks ago) and watch some comedies or something.
I haven't forgotten you, dear readers. When I get my head out from the sand, I will return.
Be good to yourselves.
~Meaghan
(And I totally typed that with a British accent in my head, due to watching too much BBC. Awesome.)
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Soon, Spring Break
Honestly, it's not like I'm even doing anything exciting for spring break. I'm not going anywhere exotic, or at all. I'm not getting drunk, I'm not partying it up, I'm not headed for Key West. It sounds crazy boring, right?
Wrong.
Do you have any idea how nice it's going to be to actually get to sleep past seven in the morning and to not have to drag my tush to the train station, ride the train forty minutes to school, and then sit through classes that hardly make sense to me at this point????
Alright, that sounds kind of bad. I don't hate school. I don't. It's just, as I've mentioned before on here, this semester is kicking my ass into the ground. I am worn down and need a break.
And riding the train is kind of fun. It goes fast and it gives me a sense of responsibility, as I have to make sure I catch it at the right times and get off at the right stops. I've learned how to nap while still keeping track of train stops. If that isn't something awesome, then I don't know what is.
When I was in community college, working on my writing degree, school was really easy for me. This feels like a bit of a dirty confession, typing that. But it was. It was crazy easy for me. Writing is in my blood. It's one of the few things in life that comes naturally to me. I was able to do rough drafts of poems and creative non-fiction essays then day before I had to have them ready for peer review and they would seemingly write themselves. And while some of them were crap, most of them were somewhat good.
Science is a whole other ball game. It's like being on Vulcan. Half of the stuff doesn't make sense to me, and I am literally crawling through these classes as if I'm in a pit and my finger nails are the only thing holding me up. The only class I have an A in right now is my music class, and that is because I'm musically inclined.
Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I taking classes that make me feel so dumb?
Because when it works, it works beautifully. And that satisfaction, I'm learning, is a huge pay off.
And because continuing an English path does not appeal to me. I don't want to necessarily write stories for a living, though writing on the side is good. I don't really want to teach about nuances and deeper meanings and the structure of a sentence to high school kids.
I did the writing because it was fun and I enjoyed it.
I'm doing science because it's my calling.
I need to be outside. I need to be in the open air and in the trees. I can't be cooped up. I get so depressed when I lose my connection with nature.
That is why.
And damn, spring break is going to be well earned.
So, what's the check list to get done between now and then?
~Stats homework
~Chem homework
~Another paper in music
~Reading in all my classes
Today is Wed. I'm updating this from school. That means that when I get home today after Chemistry, I should be able to sit down and work on stuff. So I can do this. I can do this.
My friend is starting blood transfusions on Monday. She's moving this weekend. I think Trev and I are going to try to help her finish up. I am still pretty worried about what could happen, but I can't dwell. I have to trust that she's going to be okay, that this is going to be okay.
I'm back to writing with a passion and fury. Blogging daily again is helping. Plus, I have a few notebooks with me. I forgot how much I need to release the stuff in my head. It gets awfully full in there.
Alright, time to get lunch and head to class.
Spring break soon. Spring break soon.
~Meaghan
Wrong.
Do you have any idea how nice it's going to be to actually get to sleep past seven in the morning and to not have to drag my tush to the train station, ride the train forty minutes to school, and then sit through classes that hardly make sense to me at this point????
Alright, that sounds kind of bad. I don't hate school. I don't. It's just, as I've mentioned before on here, this semester is kicking my ass into the ground. I am worn down and need a break.
And riding the train is kind of fun. It goes fast and it gives me a sense of responsibility, as I have to make sure I catch it at the right times and get off at the right stops. I've learned how to nap while still keeping track of train stops. If that isn't something awesome, then I don't know what is.
When I was in community college, working on my writing degree, school was really easy for me. This feels like a bit of a dirty confession, typing that. But it was. It was crazy easy for me. Writing is in my blood. It's one of the few things in life that comes naturally to me. I was able to do rough drafts of poems and creative non-fiction essays then day before I had to have them ready for peer review and they would seemingly write themselves. And while some of them were crap, most of them were somewhat good.
Science is a whole other ball game. It's like being on Vulcan. Half of the stuff doesn't make sense to me, and I am literally crawling through these classes as if I'm in a pit and my finger nails are the only thing holding me up. The only class I have an A in right now is my music class, and that is because I'm musically inclined.
Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I taking classes that make me feel so dumb?
Because when it works, it works beautifully. And that satisfaction, I'm learning, is a huge pay off.
And because continuing an English path does not appeal to me. I don't want to necessarily write stories for a living, though writing on the side is good. I don't really want to teach about nuances and deeper meanings and the structure of a sentence to high school kids.
I did the writing because it was fun and I enjoyed it.
I'm doing science because it's my calling.
I need to be outside. I need to be in the open air and in the trees. I can't be cooped up. I get so depressed when I lose my connection with nature.
That is why.
And damn, spring break is going to be well earned.
So, what's the check list to get done between now and then?
~Stats homework
~Chem homework
~Another paper in music
~Reading in all my classes
Today is Wed. I'm updating this from school. That means that when I get home today after Chemistry, I should be able to sit down and work on stuff. So I can do this. I can do this.
My friend is starting blood transfusions on Monday. She's moving this weekend. I think Trev and I are going to try to help her finish up. I am still pretty worried about what could happen, but I can't dwell. I have to trust that she's going to be okay, that this is going to be okay.
I'm back to writing with a passion and fury. Blogging daily again is helping. Plus, I have a few notebooks with me. I forgot how much I need to release the stuff in my head. It gets awfully full in there.
Alright, time to get lunch and head to class.
Spring break soon. Spring break soon.
~Meaghan
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
The Post Electric
So hi again, my dear sweet readers.
I had a total meltdown yesterday over basically nothing and I've been sad over the past few days, but today seems to be looking up.
For one, I actually feel like I understand what we're covering in my statistics class. This is good. I got a C on the first test; I think I can redeem myself on this next test. I asked my professor what the best way to study for the test is and he confirmed what I was leaning towards: work the problems. Work them over and over and over again until I can basically do them in my sleep.
So hopefully this will work and I'll pass this class higher than a C.
Still lost in maps use. I have so much trouble measuring a straight line. This is probably not good. Granted, it makes my numbers off in the class, but what if this was real life? I would be so lost in the middle of nowhere.
Who am I kidding? I'm always lost in the middle of nowhere, even if that nowhere is my mind.
Wow, that was cryptic. My bad.
My mom, after witnessing my meltdown, said I needed to do something about it. As she told me yesterday, I should start writing down things about myself, journal about myself and who I am - what I like about myself, what I don't like about myself, etc.
It seems so juvenile, doesn't it? I'm nearly 24, and my mom still has to give me advice on exploring who I am because I don't spend enough time on myself, apparently. And she said that if I don't somehow pull myself out of this, then I'm going to have to call my therapist again.
(Yes, loves. I have a therapist. I saw her over the summer when the shit got real, and I have her number in my phone. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you can't do something yourself and that you need help. It's a very good thing to get help, to acknowledge that you are struggling, and to let someone hear you and bounce ideas to you.)
So, that makes me wonder. Isn't that the point of this blog? Maybe I'm using it wrong. I have always thought of blogging as a place to dump my thoughts out of my head and into a void where someone may or may not read them and may or may not benefit from them.
(Also, you are always welcome and free to comment. Feedback is always good. I notice I get a fair number of hits but few comments. Please, feel free to engage me. :) )
I keep a paper bound journal for the heavy stuff that I don't feel I can share on here. And because writing on paper clears my soul almost more than a computer can. However, I can type a lot faster than I can write in cursive on a page. Hmm.
So yes, let's use this as a dumping place. As an exploring place. And you, my lovely readers, are going to possibly get sick of me. But this is the best I've got and frankly, I've been pretty on the edge lately.
Where should we start?
As I said earlier, I did have a better day today. I got caught in a bit of a snowstorm at school while walking from one building to another. Community college spoiled me. All the classes were in one building. My current campus is huge and so much walking. Which is great.
Trev brought me a hat at my request when he showed up on campus, and he had lunch with myself and a really good friend of mine. I'm always happy when my fiance gets along with my friends. :)
I think the only part of today that wasn't super great (besides the snow) was the fact that I dropped my water bottle just right and it shattered. I have a really nice bottle that I carry. It's one of these, in the purple color shown in the picture. I love purple and I hate unfiltered water, and frankly, it's the only way I'll drink water when at school. I get so much use out of it.
And I dropped it. And it hit just right. And the entire top shattered.
Add this to yesterday when my backpack zipper broke, and I'm beginning to think the universe is possibly against me. Or telling me to slow down and relax.
(Trev is always trying to tell me that everything is not a sign, that sometimes a broken thing is just a broken thing. But seriously. I went to school and got a creative writing degree. For three years of my life, they pounded into my head that everything has a deeper meaning and sign. That doesn't get broken overnight. And yes, it did take me a long time to be able to read a book and just enjoy it.)
Anyway.
All day today I've been talking in my head in a British accent. Not sure why, except that I've been reading an absurd amount of Loki/Darcy fanfiction and when I do, all I can hear is Tom Hiddleston's voice in my ear.
Next post is going to be entirely about fanfiction. Because I honestly think it gets slammed way more than it should.
Alright, this post is long enough.
And I feel like it was pretty disjointed. My bad.
I'll write another post shortly.
~Meaghan
I had a total meltdown yesterday over basically nothing and I've been sad over the past few days, but today seems to be looking up.
For one, I actually feel like I understand what we're covering in my statistics class. This is good. I got a C on the first test; I think I can redeem myself on this next test. I asked my professor what the best way to study for the test is and he confirmed what I was leaning towards: work the problems. Work them over and over and over again until I can basically do them in my sleep.
So hopefully this will work and I'll pass this class higher than a C.
Still lost in maps use. I have so much trouble measuring a straight line. This is probably not good. Granted, it makes my numbers off in the class, but what if this was real life? I would be so lost in the middle of nowhere.
Who am I kidding? I'm always lost in the middle of nowhere, even if that nowhere is my mind.
Wow, that was cryptic. My bad.
My mom, after witnessing my meltdown, said I needed to do something about it. As she told me yesterday, I should start writing down things about myself, journal about myself and who I am - what I like about myself, what I don't like about myself, etc.
It seems so juvenile, doesn't it? I'm nearly 24, and my mom still has to give me advice on exploring who I am because I don't spend enough time on myself, apparently. And she said that if I don't somehow pull myself out of this, then I'm going to have to call my therapist again.
(Yes, loves. I have a therapist. I saw her over the summer when the shit got real, and I have her number in my phone. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you can't do something yourself and that you need help. It's a very good thing to get help, to acknowledge that you are struggling, and to let someone hear you and bounce ideas to you.)
So, that makes me wonder. Isn't that the point of this blog? Maybe I'm using it wrong. I have always thought of blogging as a place to dump my thoughts out of my head and into a void where someone may or may not read them and may or may not benefit from them.
(Also, you are always welcome and free to comment. Feedback is always good. I notice I get a fair number of hits but few comments. Please, feel free to engage me. :) )
I keep a paper bound journal for the heavy stuff that I don't feel I can share on here. And because writing on paper clears my soul almost more than a computer can. However, I can type a lot faster than I can write in cursive on a page. Hmm.
So yes, let's use this as a dumping place. As an exploring place. And you, my lovely readers, are going to possibly get sick of me. But this is the best I've got and frankly, I've been pretty on the edge lately.
Where should we start?
As I said earlier, I did have a better day today. I got caught in a bit of a snowstorm at school while walking from one building to another. Community college spoiled me. All the classes were in one building. My current campus is huge and so much walking. Which is great.
Trev brought me a hat at my request when he showed up on campus, and he had lunch with myself and a really good friend of mine. I'm always happy when my fiance gets along with my friends. :)
I think the only part of today that wasn't super great (besides the snow) was the fact that I dropped my water bottle just right and it shattered. I have a really nice bottle that I carry. It's one of these, in the purple color shown in the picture. I love purple and I hate unfiltered water, and frankly, it's the only way I'll drink water when at school. I get so much use out of it.
And I dropped it. And it hit just right. And the entire top shattered.
Add this to yesterday when my backpack zipper broke, and I'm beginning to think the universe is possibly against me. Or telling me to slow down and relax.
(Trev is always trying to tell me that everything is not a sign, that sometimes a broken thing is just a broken thing. But seriously. I went to school and got a creative writing degree. For three years of my life, they pounded into my head that everything has a deeper meaning and sign. That doesn't get broken overnight. And yes, it did take me a long time to be able to read a book and just enjoy it.)
Anyway.
All day today I've been talking in my head in a British accent. Not sure why, except that I've been reading an absurd amount of Loki/Darcy fanfiction and when I do, all I can hear is Tom Hiddleston's voice in my ear.
Next post is going to be entirely about fanfiction. Because I honestly think it gets slammed way more than it should.
Alright, this post is long enough.
And I feel like it was pretty disjointed. My bad.
I'll write another post shortly.
~Meaghan
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Oh! Before I Forget!
Hey again, readers!
This didn't really fit with the last post, but I want to post it, so here's a second post in 20 minutes.
Again, brought to you by the school computer bar.
Moving is not happening the way that we expected it to. What my parents were hoping for is that since we were looking at apartments owned by the same company that we currently live in, we would be able to break the lease and move.
Not so much.
So the apartment is in the throws of packing with boxes and stuff scattered everywhere. And we aren't moving until May. Which is good for a few reasons: 1. Fiance and I finish school for the semester part way through May, so we'll be a lot less stressed about moving and 2. we can actually downsize for like the first time ever.
Normally when we move, everything is chaos and jumbled and we don't even sort our stuff, we just throw it in boxes.
This time will be different.
Sis seems to like living with her fiance at his moms house. She did stay the night last night. I'm going to try to reserve judgement and just see how things play out for her. As long as she's happy, it should be good.
It did dawn on me yesterday that I do have liver disease. It's kind of a weird feeling, knowing that stuff isn't quit right. It's not affecting me just yet, and according to the doctors, I really just need to be aware. I can still drink periodically and still function. It's just strange.
So I've been changing my diet in an attempt to lose some weight. No more soda, sugar in more moderation, and more veggies. Fiance is very supportive and has been reading "Eat This, Not That" and "Drink This, Not That" with me. We started a work out plan yesterday as well.
All in all, I think things are good though. I did start having nightmares about the liver biopsy even though it really wasn't that bad and I had it done over a week ago. Go figure.
I will have a post about the St. Brigid sweater in the next week as well as some of my other knitting. I have a very full plate at the moment, so it may be closer to the weekend. But I will have it posted.
And now I really do need to go get ready for my stats test. I will write again soon.
Have a great day, readers! :)
~Meaghan
This didn't really fit with the last post, but I want to post it, so here's a second post in 20 minutes.
Again, brought to you by the school computer bar.
Moving is not happening the way that we expected it to. What my parents were hoping for is that since we were looking at apartments owned by the same company that we currently live in, we would be able to break the lease and move.
Not so much.
So the apartment is in the throws of packing with boxes and stuff scattered everywhere. And we aren't moving until May. Which is good for a few reasons: 1. Fiance and I finish school for the semester part way through May, so we'll be a lot less stressed about moving and 2. we can actually downsize for like the first time ever.
Normally when we move, everything is chaos and jumbled and we don't even sort our stuff, we just throw it in boxes.
This time will be different.
Sis seems to like living with her fiance at his moms house. She did stay the night last night. I'm going to try to reserve judgement and just see how things play out for her. As long as she's happy, it should be good.
It did dawn on me yesterday that I do have liver disease. It's kind of a weird feeling, knowing that stuff isn't quit right. It's not affecting me just yet, and according to the doctors, I really just need to be aware. I can still drink periodically and still function. It's just strange.
So I've been changing my diet in an attempt to lose some weight. No more soda, sugar in more moderation, and more veggies. Fiance is very supportive and has been reading "Eat This, Not That" and "Drink This, Not That" with me. We started a work out plan yesterday as well.
All in all, I think things are good though. I did start having nightmares about the liver biopsy even though it really wasn't that bad and I had it done over a week ago. Go figure.
I will have a post about the St. Brigid sweater in the next week as well as some of my other knitting. I have a very full plate at the moment, so it may be closer to the weekend. But I will have it posted.
And now I really do need to go get ready for my stats test. I will write again soon.
Have a great day, readers! :)
~Meaghan
Sunday, February 23, 2014
The Sunday Update
Hey there, dear readers!
I would like to start by sharing some good news.
The liver biopsy was not nearly as painful or scary as I thought it was going to be! The doctor's were all very gracious and kind, I was numbed up very, very well, and while I had to be awake for the whole thing, everyone talked with me throughout. It was not the worst medical experience of my life.
(I think last summer when I had the flu and couldn't stop puking was worse, actually. But I digress.)
And the results came in.
I have been diagnosed with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.
I can hear you on the other side of this blog. What does that mean? Are you okay? What's going on?
It's actually a better result than I could have hoped for. What it means is that my liver is inflamed due to fat cells. I have family histories of obesity and high cholesterol, and I just recently diagnosed with high cholesterol. (It really was just a matter of time, unfortunately.)
So by getting more exercise and eating better overall, plus a bit of weight loss, I should be okay. I've been working on eating better since January anyway. Starting Monday (oh, I guess that's tomorrow, lol), my fiance and I are going to work out together three times a week. So it should be good.
There have been some major changes at home. My sister and her fiance (they just recently got engaged) moved out and to his mom's house. I don't really know how I feel about it. I think I like her significant other. but he rubs me a bit the wrong way. When he was living here, he basically stayed in their room all day and didn't really do much of anything. And he talks in circles, which bugs the living daylights out of me. And he sighs all the time.
But she's happy with him and they decided that moving out was the best option. As long as she's okay, I'm not going to worry about it. She'll be 21 in May. So really, we couldn't stop her anyway.
This past week was nuts though. Tempers were high until Thursday and the whole thing was pretty volatile. But everything calmed down and sis left on good terms with the family. She's going to be coming over for dinner twice a week, including family night, and things seem to be okay between her and my parents. It does feel weird though.
(Fiance and I have been talking about married student housing next year once we're hitched. But we're older too, so it seems like a logical next step. And it's not as rushed as this - they literally were out within a week of deciding to leave.)
So my family unit is now my parents, my fiance, and myself. We're in the process of downsizing from a 3 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom apartment in a more ideal location. Parents are meeting with the new apartment people tomorrow and if all goes well, we'll be moved in a week.
Completely crazy and fast.
(In my experience, when things are supposed to happen, they usually go crazy stupid fast. When we moved to Colorado, we literally were out of our house and packed within two weeks of my dad getting the job out here. Does this happen to anyone else? Crazy stupid fast, that is?)
So what have I been doing?
Procrastinating.
I've been kind of working on statistics homework this week. And I've been knitting a lot. My St. Brigid sweater is coming along beautifully, even though I can only do a few rows at a time. That's the problem with cables. They are very time consuming, at least for me.
(I'll do a separate blog about the sweater in the next few weeks. Gotta get through packing and moving first.)
I've also been watching a lot of movies. Fiance took me to see the Lego Movie this week. Um, totally awesome. Morgan Freeman did one of the voices, and Will Farrell was in it as well. It was funny, fresh, and just fun. I completely recommend it.
(Afterwards, we bought Legos. I had never had my own Legos before due to price and whatnot; he bought me some. It's awesome. We built them up together the other night. I don't care what anyone thinks - building Legos with someone you love is amazing.)
I also saw the Avengers this week. I'm a little slow getting on the super hero band wagon. Up until the past week, I really was just a DC kind of girl. Batman will always hold a special place in my heart.
But the Avengers blew me out of the water. Marvel has won me over. Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston) is probably one of my all time favorite villains now. He's crazy and handsome and charming and evil, yet sympathetic in a way. And Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow - damn. Can I be her when I grow up? Pretty, pretty please?
Plus all the other actors and characters (I love Chris Evans as Captain America) just kind of blew me out of the water. I'm now in the process of getting my hands on all the movies that came before Avengers. I have Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man, all waiting to be watched before I return them to the library.
(Tonight's choice is Captain America, in case anyone is curious.)
So yeah. Lots of procrastinating.
Which, depending on how tomorrow goes, will probably change to packing. Lots of packing. Fiance is already boxing up the living room as we speak.
Wow this was long. My bad.
I hope you have a lovely Sunday, my dear readers. I will be back with more exciting information as it becomes available to me.
Be kind to each other while I'm away. :)
~Meaghan
I would like to start by sharing some good news.
The liver biopsy was not nearly as painful or scary as I thought it was going to be! The doctor's were all very gracious and kind, I was numbed up very, very well, and while I had to be awake for the whole thing, everyone talked with me throughout. It was not the worst medical experience of my life.
(I think last summer when I had the flu and couldn't stop puking was worse, actually. But I digress.)
And the results came in.
I have been diagnosed with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.
I can hear you on the other side of this blog. What does that mean? Are you okay? What's going on?
It's actually a better result than I could have hoped for. What it means is that my liver is inflamed due to fat cells. I have family histories of obesity and high cholesterol, and I just recently diagnosed with high cholesterol. (It really was just a matter of time, unfortunately.)
So by getting more exercise and eating better overall, plus a bit of weight loss, I should be okay. I've been working on eating better since January anyway. Starting Monday (oh, I guess that's tomorrow, lol), my fiance and I are going to work out together three times a week. So it should be good.
There have been some major changes at home. My sister and her fiance (they just recently got engaged) moved out and to his mom's house. I don't really know how I feel about it. I think I like her significant other. but he rubs me a bit the wrong way. When he was living here, he basically stayed in their room all day and didn't really do much of anything. And he talks in circles, which bugs the living daylights out of me. And he sighs all the time.
But she's happy with him and they decided that moving out was the best option. As long as she's okay, I'm not going to worry about it. She'll be 21 in May. So really, we couldn't stop her anyway.
This past week was nuts though. Tempers were high until Thursday and the whole thing was pretty volatile. But everything calmed down and sis left on good terms with the family. She's going to be coming over for dinner twice a week, including family night, and things seem to be okay between her and my parents. It does feel weird though.
(Fiance and I have been talking about married student housing next year once we're hitched. But we're older too, so it seems like a logical next step. And it's not as rushed as this - they literally were out within a week of deciding to leave.)
So my family unit is now my parents, my fiance, and myself. We're in the process of downsizing from a 3 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom apartment in a more ideal location. Parents are meeting with the new apartment people tomorrow and if all goes well, we'll be moved in a week.
Completely crazy and fast.
(In my experience, when things are supposed to happen, they usually go crazy stupid fast. When we moved to Colorado, we literally were out of our house and packed within two weeks of my dad getting the job out here. Does this happen to anyone else? Crazy stupid fast, that is?)
So what have I been doing?
Procrastinating.
I've been kind of working on statistics homework this week. And I've been knitting a lot. My St. Brigid sweater is coming along beautifully, even though I can only do a few rows at a time. That's the problem with cables. They are very time consuming, at least for me.
(I'll do a separate blog about the sweater in the next few weeks. Gotta get through packing and moving first.)
I've also been watching a lot of movies. Fiance took me to see the Lego Movie this week. Um, totally awesome. Morgan Freeman did one of the voices, and Will Farrell was in it as well. It was funny, fresh, and just fun. I completely recommend it.
(Afterwards, we bought Legos. I had never had my own Legos before due to price and whatnot; he bought me some. It's awesome. We built them up together the other night. I don't care what anyone thinks - building Legos with someone you love is amazing.)
I also saw the Avengers this week. I'm a little slow getting on the super hero band wagon. Up until the past week, I really was just a DC kind of girl. Batman will always hold a special place in my heart.
But the Avengers blew me out of the water. Marvel has won me over. Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston) is probably one of my all time favorite villains now. He's crazy and handsome and charming and evil, yet sympathetic in a way. And Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow - damn. Can I be her when I grow up? Pretty, pretty please?
Plus all the other actors and characters (I love Chris Evans as Captain America) just kind of blew me out of the water. I'm now in the process of getting my hands on all the movies that came before Avengers. I have Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man, all waiting to be watched before I return them to the library.
(Tonight's choice is Captain America, in case anyone is curious.)
So yeah. Lots of procrastinating.
Which, depending on how tomorrow goes, will probably change to packing. Lots of packing. Fiance is already boxing up the living room as we speak.
Wow this was long. My bad.
I hope you have a lovely Sunday, my dear readers. I will be back with more exciting information as it becomes available to me.
Be kind to each other while I'm away. :)
~Meaghan
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Tomorrow and Beyond
I've been a bit of a wreck, truth be told my readers. Granted, today I am more calm about the procedure.
Yesterday though. Geez.
I think my problem was that I looked up the pain factor for the liver biopsy. Never do that. For reals.
Here is what I know:
1. I know I have to be awake for the procedure because if I breathe when they insert the needle, they may puncture my lung.
2. I know I can expect to be very sore for the following week afterwards.
3. I know I'm going to be jacked up on drugs tomorrow before they do the thing. From what I've been told, I will basically just not care. About anything. (Which sounds a lot like being invincible or what depression did to me a few years ago.)
4. I know that this will be okay.
5. I know my mom and fiance will be there.
Beyond these things, I do not know really what to expect.
I can't dwell on it though. Gotta power through.
Besides, I have chemistry homework due on Wed. Can't let this slow me down.
So let me tell you some of the good and interesting things that have been going on in my life. Because while this deal with my liver has been a bummer factor, it has not been the only thing.
Trev took me to dinner last night. We went to Red Robin, the place we've been going to frequently since we started dating back in 2011. We laughed and had a good time. After the food, we went to the bookstore to try to figure out where to start for comic books.
I really, really love super hero movies. I have since I discovered Watchmen back in 2009 and it grew when I was introduced to them by Trev in the start of our relationship. There's just something so great about having awesome villains and powerful heroes. Or, like in Watchmen, when the heroes really aren't heroes. Anyway. I want to start reading the comics (the only one I've ever read was Watchmen, and that was before the movie came out) because I think it'll be a great way to learn more about the characters I love. So we went to the bookstore to try to see a good starting place for me.
It was great.
My knitting has been going well. I finished my first pair of socks for the new year today. The yarn is called Atom by String Theory Colorworks and it's great - purple, neon green, and grey, separated by strips of black.
I did have to quit my violin lessons again. With everything going on, I just don't feel I have time for it right now. I'm kinda sad about it, but I know that eventually I'll be able to go back to it.
School is going well overall, I think. Chemistry is confusing as all get out, but besides that, I feel like I'm doing well. I'm still pretty happy with my major. Although, if I were to get an extra B.S., I'm realizing I would totally get on in aerospace engineering. The stars fascinate me. Space fascinates me. While I know my calling is nature and Earth, a part of me (maybe it's a part we all have, actually) draws me towards the sky and unknown.
Beyond that, I think things are good. Things are interesting.
(Speaking of interesting, I keep running into this guy on campus I had a crush on in community college before I met Trev. You wanna talk weird. It's been like three years. Why now?)
So yeah.
Gotta survive the liver biopsy tomorrow and everything will be okay.
Please send me positive vibes, my dear sweet readers. It is very much appreciated.
~Meaghan
Yesterday though. Geez.
I think my problem was that I looked up the pain factor for the liver biopsy. Never do that. For reals.
Here is what I know:
1. I know I have to be awake for the procedure because if I breathe when they insert the needle, they may puncture my lung.
2. I know I can expect to be very sore for the following week afterwards.
3. I know I'm going to be jacked up on drugs tomorrow before they do the thing. From what I've been told, I will basically just not care. About anything. (Which sounds a lot like being invincible or what depression did to me a few years ago.)
4. I know that this will be okay.
5. I know my mom and fiance will be there.
Beyond these things, I do not know really what to expect.
I can't dwell on it though. Gotta power through.
Besides, I have chemistry homework due on Wed. Can't let this slow me down.
So let me tell you some of the good and interesting things that have been going on in my life. Because while this deal with my liver has been a bummer factor, it has not been the only thing.
Trev took me to dinner last night. We went to Red Robin, the place we've been going to frequently since we started dating back in 2011. We laughed and had a good time. After the food, we went to the bookstore to try to figure out where to start for comic books.
I really, really love super hero movies. I have since I discovered Watchmen back in 2009 and it grew when I was introduced to them by Trev in the start of our relationship. There's just something so great about having awesome villains and powerful heroes. Or, like in Watchmen, when the heroes really aren't heroes. Anyway. I want to start reading the comics (the only one I've ever read was Watchmen, and that was before the movie came out) because I think it'll be a great way to learn more about the characters I love. So we went to the bookstore to try to see a good starting place for me.
It was great.
My knitting has been going well. I finished my first pair of socks for the new year today. The yarn is called Atom by String Theory Colorworks and it's great - purple, neon green, and grey, separated by strips of black.
I did have to quit my violin lessons again. With everything going on, I just don't feel I have time for it right now. I'm kinda sad about it, but I know that eventually I'll be able to go back to it.
School is going well overall, I think. Chemistry is confusing as all get out, but besides that, I feel like I'm doing well. I'm still pretty happy with my major. Although, if I were to get an extra B.S., I'm realizing I would totally get on in aerospace engineering. The stars fascinate me. Space fascinates me. While I know my calling is nature and Earth, a part of me (maybe it's a part we all have, actually) draws me towards the sky and unknown.
Beyond that, I think things are good. Things are interesting.
(Speaking of interesting, I keep running into this guy on campus I had a crush on in community college before I met Trev. You wanna talk weird. It's been like three years. Why now?)
So yeah.
Gotta survive the liver biopsy tomorrow and everything will be okay.
Please send me positive vibes, my dear sweet readers. It is very much appreciated.
~Meaghan
Friday, September 27, 2013
Notes from the Blogger
Hi, my readers. :)
I'm realizing that going a month without blogging is apparently going to be the norm, at least for now. So I thought now would be a good time to create a few "editorial notes" about this lovely blog for the new readers (and older readers, as well).
So what should you know?
1. I am a College Student.
So, this doesn't mean a whole lot in the great scheme of things. Except that I am very science minded and will possibly be bringing it to this blog. I love science. I love learning. That's pretty key to knowing me. And that my time is crazy (and will remain crazy for at least the next four years), which brings me to...
2. Gaps in the Blog are Expected.
Yeah. So being a female science student who lives with her family and boyfriend while playing the violin and knitting has some serious perks. Like, I get to go out and observe organisms. And I get to have cuddle time with my man. And violin recitals and holiday/birthday/fun knitting projects and whatever else I can possibly fit in. So gaps are totally the norm here. I would love to be able to promise a blog post a week, but I can't make any guarantees.
3. Spirituality is Huge.
My faith is perhaps one of the few things that gets me through. I have a very strong relationship with the Devine, though it is not at all in a traditional way. It's a mix of so many things - energy and healing, Wicca thoughts, Christian principles, meditations, prayer, etc. I do not follow religion and I don't believe in hell or damnation. If this bothers you, I respect that. But please understand that my faith, being part of who I am, will probably come up at some point.
4. I Love Owls.
As will owls. Owls are my love. I have always loved them and I always will. Yes, I think they are cute, but it's so much more than that. Owls in the wild (and in captivity) are some of the most loving creatures you will find. They mate for life and spend their entire lives with their mate. Studies have been done on owls that lose their mates; most of the them wither away. Their calls are beautiful, their physical make up is beautiful, and they can represent so much - creativity, nighttime, wisdom, the moon. Owls are my creature. They will probably appear in this blog often.
5. I Knit Obsessively.
The original goal of this blog was to have a knitting blog like so many of the ones I follow. While that didn't work (too much of myself is interwoven into everything I do, I can't have one without the other), knitting is a huge driving force of what I do. It connects me to generations before me, to my mom, to the very center of creation. I love the colors, I love the textures. I love when a pattern forces me to learn a new technique. I also enjoy creating some of my own patterns.
6. I Write All the Time.
It may not be on here, but it's true. I carry a composition book with me and usually several notepads. I never know when an idea will hit me. And granted, writing is not something I want to make my living off of, but it is still something I love. It's expression, it's release, it's a natural part of me. And maybe one day I will have some essays published. We'll see.
7. I Also Read.
Reading is cool. I even bought a Nook with a Kindle app so I could read on the lightrail on my way to and from school easier. Books are amazing. I'm not a huge fantasy reader or fiction reader, but I love historical things and creative non-fiction. Science books and spiritual books also are great. I have this fear that if I stop reading, my mind will melt from ignorance. And that is just unacceptable.
8. I Tend to be Liberal.
No, I don't vote by party lines. That's dumb. Do your research and vote accordingly. But I am a very big supporter of free speech, basic freedoms, and the need to have self expression. I support gun control as well as the right to carry. I also support gay rights and the right to choose an abortion. Which leads to...
9. I Support Women's Rights.
Don't tell me what I can or can not do because of my gender. Better yet, don't tell me what I can or can not do in general. Because I will defy you. I hate rape culture and want more people to be aware of it. I do not support slut shaming. I don't think your virginity defines you. And I loathe anyone or anything that tries to bring women down. Women are awesome. We are strong and beautiful and sensitive, all in one.
And finally...
10. I Love Life.
I love it. Every part of it. And I want to learn all I can, do all I can, be all I can. I want to touch and taste and dream. If you can't handle that, then this blog is not for you.
There you have it, lovely readers. Turn back now if you must or plow ahead (or behind through the archives) if you are brave. This is a journey. It will always be a journey.
Until the next time we meet.
~Meaghan
I'm realizing that going a month without blogging is apparently going to be the norm, at least for now. So I thought now would be a good time to create a few "editorial notes" about this lovely blog for the new readers (and older readers, as well).
So what should you know?
1. I am a College Student.
So, this doesn't mean a whole lot in the great scheme of things. Except that I am very science minded and will possibly be bringing it to this blog. I love science. I love learning. That's pretty key to knowing me. And that my time is crazy (and will remain crazy for at least the next four years), which brings me to...
2. Gaps in the Blog are Expected.
Yeah. So being a female science student who lives with her family and boyfriend while playing the violin and knitting has some serious perks. Like, I get to go out and observe organisms. And I get to have cuddle time with my man. And violin recitals and holiday/birthday/fun knitting projects and whatever else I can possibly fit in. So gaps are totally the norm here. I would love to be able to promise a blog post a week, but I can't make any guarantees.
3. Spirituality is Huge.
My faith is perhaps one of the few things that gets me through. I have a very strong relationship with the Devine, though it is not at all in a traditional way. It's a mix of so many things - energy and healing, Wicca thoughts, Christian principles, meditations, prayer, etc. I do not follow religion and I don't believe in hell or damnation. If this bothers you, I respect that. But please understand that my faith, being part of who I am, will probably come up at some point.
4. I Love Owls.
As will owls. Owls are my love. I have always loved them and I always will. Yes, I think they are cute, but it's so much more than that. Owls in the wild (and in captivity) are some of the most loving creatures you will find. They mate for life and spend their entire lives with their mate. Studies have been done on owls that lose their mates; most of the them wither away. Their calls are beautiful, their physical make up is beautiful, and they can represent so much - creativity, nighttime, wisdom, the moon. Owls are my creature. They will probably appear in this blog often.
5. I Knit Obsessively.
The original goal of this blog was to have a knitting blog like so many of the ones I follow. While that didn't work (too much of myself is interwoven into everything I do, I can't have one without the other), knitting is a huge driving force of what I do. It connects me to generations before me, to my mom, to the very center of creation. I love the colors, I love the textures. I love when a pattern forces me to learn a new technique. I also enjoy creating some of my own patterns.
6. I Write All the Time.
It may not be on here, but it's true. I carry a composition book with me and usually several notepads. I never know when an idea will hit me. And granted, writing is not something I want to make my living off of, but it is still something I love. It's expression, it's release, it's a natural part of me. And maybe one day I will have some essays published. We'll see.
7. I Also Read.
Reading is cool. I even bought a Nook with a Kindle app so I could read on the lightrail on my way to and from school easier. Books are amazing. I'm not a huge fantasy reader or fiction reader, but I love historical things and creative non-fiction. Science books and spiritual books also are great. I have this fear that if I stop reading, my mind will melt from ignorance. And that is just unacceptable.
8. I Tend to be Liberal.
No, I don't vote by party lines. That's dumb. Do your research and vote accordingly. But I am a very big supporter of free speech, basic freedoms, and the need to have self expression. I support gun control as well as the right to carry. I also support gay rights and the right to choose an abortion. Which leads to...
9. I Support Women's Rights.
Don't tell me what I can or can not do because of my gender. Better yet, don't tell me what I can or can not do in general. Because I will defy you. I hate rape culture and want more people to be aware of it. I do not support slut shaming. I don't think your virginity defines you. And I loathe anyone or anything that tries to bring women down. Women are awesome. We are strong and beautiful and sensitive, all in one.
And finally...
10. I Love Life.
I love it. Every part of it. And I want to learn all I can, do all I can, be all I can. I want to touch and taste and dream. If you can't handle that, then this blog is not for you.
There you have it, lovely readers. Turn back now if you must or plow ahead (or behind through the archives) if you are brave. This is a journey. It will always be a journey.
Until the next time we meet.
~Meaghan
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Chocolate and Alpaca Lace
I am stressed, my readers.
Boyfriend has been gone for two weeks and won't be back for another two weeks. Plus, he hasn't answered his phone in like two days. So I'm a little worried. I know he's safe with family and I know this isn't like Boulder, but still.
I'm his girlfriend.
I'm also Cancer the Crab.
I get worried.
August is looking to be stressful and even though it hasn't started, I'm ready for it to be done.
School starts the 19th, but financial aid won't go through until the 8th. And since this school is different than my last college experience, I have to wait until the aid is done being processed to get my books. So I'm looking at getting my books, I.D., and RTD pass the week before school starts.
Usually, I've already bought them by now.
The 5K is coming up. I'm nervous. I've never done anything like this before. Today, I did an hour on the treadmill in preparation. I don't anticipate going super fast, but I am, based on today, expecting to be done in about an hour.
My mom's brother (who is a little out there and has recently stressed us out) is coming to visit with my cousin. My cousin and I got along beautifully the last time she was here. My uncle... I've only met him once. He and my mom only recently reconnected.
So we're all pretty stressed about that.
I was up until 3am today, trying to get the knot of panic out of my chest that had formed.
So.
Stressed.
Out.
Dad says my grandma had this saying about worry: "Worry is like a rocking chair. It only takes you back and forth, never really going anywhere."
So true.
My anxiety combating skills are coming into play at this point.
I'm going to school with my sister tomorrow to find my classes and buildings.
One day at a time.
Today, after I finish this post, I intend to knit and relax.
This involves really good dark chocolate with raspberries in it and baby alpaca, knit into lace.
The yarn is awesome. When boyfriend was at Boulder, before his depression worsened and all the bad stuff happened, I went to visit him for a weekend. It was lovely. We slept in, ate pasta and ice cream at the Pearl Street mall, watched movies all night, and just generally relaxed.
While we were there, we went to a yarn store. I found this beautiful Alpaca Lace by Cascade Yarn in blues and greens. I had always wanted to try alpaca yarn, but usually couldn't afford it. This to me was the holy grail of yarn.
Boyfriend bought it for me.
I was in love.
And then everything happened. Like, a near break up due to boyfriend's depression and contemplation of suicide. Boyfriend breaking ties with his dad. Boyfriend moving in.
Suddenly, the yarn was unknittable. I couldn't look at it without feeling the desperation and strain from those few months. I buried it in the yarn stash.
It's been a year and a half since then. Boyfriend and I still have ups and downs, but over all, I think things are better. He's finally going to counseling, and things are going to be alright.
So I can knit with the alpaca.
It's heaven. Total bliss.
And knitting a lace pattern really helps my anxiety, I'm discovering.
When then next two weeks are over, I predict I will have a new scarf.
Anyway.
Chocolate and alpaca lace.
What more do I need?
~Meaghan
Boyfriend has been gone for two weeks and won't be back for another two weeks. Plus, he hasn't answered his phone in like two days. So I'm a little worried. I know he's safe with family and I know this isn't like Boulder, but still.
I'm his girlfriend.
I'm also Cancer the Crab.
I get worried.
August is looking to be stressful and even though it hasn't started, I'm ready for it to be done.
School starts the 19th, but financial aid won't go through until the 8th. And since this school is different than my last college experience, I have to wait until the aid is done being processed to get my books. So I'm looking at getting my books, I.D., and RTD pass the week before school starts.
Usually, I've already bought them by now.
The 5K is coming up. I'm nervous. I've never done anything like this before. Today, I did an hour on the treadmill in preparation. I don't anticipate going super fast, but I am, based on today, expecting to be done in about an hour.
My mom's brother (who is a little out there and has recently stressed us out) is coming to visit with my cousin. My cousin and I got along beautifully the last time she was here. My uncle... I've only met him once. He and my mom only recently reconnected.
So we're all pretty stressed about that.
I was up until 3am today, trying to get the knot of panic out of my chest that had formed.
So.
Stressed.
Out.
Dad says my grandma had this saying about worry: "Worry is like a rocking chair. It only takes you back and forth, never really going anywhere."
So true.
My anxiety combating skills are coming into play at this point.
I'm going to school with my sister tomorrow to find my classes and buildings.
One day at a time.
Today, after I finish this post, I intend to knit and relax.
This involves really good dark chocolate with raspberries in it and baby alpaca, knit into lace.
The yarn is awesome. When boyfriend was at Boulder, before his depression worsened and all the bad stuff happened, I went to visit him for a weekend. It was lovely. We slept in, ate pasta and ice cream at the Pearl Street mall, watched movies all night, and just generally relaxed.
While we were there, we went to a yarn store. I found this beautiful Alpaca Lace by Cascade Yarn in blues and greens. I had always wanted to try alpaca yarn, but usually couldn't afford it. This to me was the holy grail of yarn.
Boyfriend bought it for me.
I was in love.
And then everything happened. Like, a near break up due to boyfriend's depression and contemplation of suicide. Boyfriend breaking ties with his dad. Boyfriend moving in.
Suddenly, the yarn was unknittable. I couldn't look at it without feeling the desperation and strain from those few months. I buried it in the yarn stash.
It's been a year and a half since then. Boyfriend and I still have ups and downs, but over all, I think things are better. He's finally going to counseling, and things are going to be alright.
So I can knit with the alpaca.
It's heaven. Total bliss.
And knitting a lace pattern really helps my anxiety, I'm discovering.
When then next two weeks are over, I predict I will have a new scarf.
Anyway.
Chocolate and alpaca lace.
What more do I need?
~Meaghan
Thursday, July 18, 2013
In Which Pain Makes Me More Random Than Usual
Hi there, my dear readers.
As I am typing this to you, I am suffering a serious migraine. Why am I not in bed? I can hear you asking.
Well....technically, I am in bed, but that's besides the point.
I have way too much on my mind for sleep at the moment. The pain is better than it was earlier this evening, so I can actually see straight, and I decided to take advantage of that fact.
Why do I have a migraine?
First off, my birthday was Monday and I decided to live it up. Saturday night out drinking with a friend (both alcohol and coconut in large quantities are triggers for me, which I didn't think about at the time - oh Malibu Rum, how I love and hate you...), Monday I spent most of the day with Boyfriend (IHOP, yarn and book shopping, a trip to school for his therapy appointment - more on that later), and dinner Monday night with the family at Red Lobster (we don't get to go very often, so I had lobster and crab and shrimp, all of which are triggers in large quantities).
(It was a great birthday, and I have no regrets. The people in my life are absolutely amazing and I am incredibly cared for, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Best birthday in a long time. :D)
Factor in stress for a moment here. Boyfriend has been suffering from untreated depression for a while now, and I may or may not have done some drastic things on last Thursday to try to get him to show something - anything. And we may or may not have had to work through things over the weekend to get him help and to help us be on good terms. (Which we are. And before you say anything, I did make an appointment with my therapist to discuss everything. She is amazing.)
(And yeah, I know you can't help people until they realize they need help. I was that way. My sister was that way when she landed in the hospital. As a former cutter and someone who deals with anxiety and depression, I get it. It does not make it any less hard or less stressful.)
Now let's factor in my chocolate addition. And the fact that there's salt on everything. And that Boyfriend has been out of town since Tuesday and won't be back until the Wed before school starts for us. I miss him like crazy and it's only been two days...
Plus Colorado weather changes. Let's never forget Monsoon Season, lol.
So yeah. Migraine party. Still, I have no regrets. I do think I'll try to keep a better eye on my triggers though. Cause really, this sucks.
In other news, I haven't trained all week for my 5K. I'm only a little nervous, you know?
And by a little, I mean a lot.
Last time I got on the treadmill (which was last Wed), I could almost do a 17 minute mile. I know that's not the greatest, but for me that is huge. Goal: 15 minute mile or less by August 17th, the day of the race. I feel like I should be able to do it.
Also, I am so ready to go back to school. I feel like science and teaching is really where I'm supposed to be. The writing was a nice detour - I met some interesting people, learned some cool stuff, met my boyfriend via zombies during it - but not what I want to do forever. I know teaching high school science will be hard, but I feel so strongly towards it. It was originally what I went to community college for anyway, an Associates of Science to get my foot in the door.
(Forgive me if I've already talked about adding on the teaching certificate, I am pretty doped up on pain meds at the moment. Like, earlier today, I tried unlocking the apartment door with the post office key. Mom and sis just kind of laughed...)
Honestly, if I can make a difference in one kid's life, I will be happy. And if teaching doesn't pan out, I still have my writing and my Environmental Science main degree to fall back on.
BTW, does anyone else think it's funny that this was supposed to be a yarn blog and it's become an everything-except-the-kitchen-sink thing instead?
Yeah. That's my cue to try sleep again.
Hang tight, dear readers. I'm sure there will be more excitement coming soon.
~Meaghan
As I am typing this to you, I am suffering a serious migraine. Why am I not in bed? I can hear you asking.
Well....technically, I am in bed, but that's besides the point.
I have way too much on my mind for sleep at the moment. The pain is better than it was earlier this evening, so I can actually see straight, and I decided to take advantage of that fact.
Why do I have a migraine?
First off, my birthday was Monday and I decided to live it up. Saturday night out drinking with a friend (both alcohol and coconut in large quantities are triggers for me, which I didn't think about at the time - oh Malibu Rum, how I love and hate you...), Monday I spent most of the day with Boyfriend (IHOP, yarn and book shopping, a trip to school for his therapy appointment - more on that later), and dinner Monday night with the family at Red Lobster (we don't get to go very often, so I had lobster and crab and shrimp, all of which are triggers in large quantities).
(It was a great birthday, and I have no regrets. The people in my life are absolutely amazing and I am incredibly cared for, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Best birthday in a long time. :D)
Factor in stress for a moment here. Boyfriend has been suffering from untreated depression for a while now, and I may or may not have done some drastic things on last Thursday to try to get him to show something - anything. And we may or may not have had to work through things over the weekend to get him help and to help us be on good terms. (Which we are. And before you say anything, I did make an appointment with my therapist to discuss everything. She is amazing.)
(And yeah, I know you can't help people until they realize they need help. I was that way. My sister was that way when she landed in the hospital. As a former cutter and someone who deals with anxiety and depression, I get it. It does not make it any less hard or less stressful.)
Now let's factor in my chocolate addition. And the fact that there's salt on everything. And that Boyfriend has been out of town since Tuesday and won't be back until the Wed before school starts for us. I miss him like crazy and it's only been two days...
Plus Colorado weather changes. Let's never forget Monsoon Season, lol.
So yeah. Migraine party. Still, I have no regrets. I do think I'll try to keep a better eye on my triggers though. Cause really, this sucks.
In other news, I haven't trained all week for my 5K. I'm only a little nervous, you know?
And by a little, I mean a lot.
Last time I got on the treadmill (which was last Wed), I could almost do a 17 minute mile. I know that's not the greatest, but for me that is huge. Goal: 15 minute mile or less by August 17th, the day of the race. I feel like I should be able to do it.
Also, I am so ready to go back to school. I feel like science and teaching is really where I'm supposed to be. The writing was a nice detour - I met some interesting people, learned some cool stuff, met my boyfriend via zombies during it - but not what I want to do forever. I know teaching high school science will be hard, but I feel so strongly towards it. It was originally what I went to community college for anyway, an Associates of Science to get my foot in the door.
(Forgive me if I've already talked about adding on the teaching certificate, I am pretty doped up on pain meds at the moment. Like, earlier today, I tried unlocking the apartment door with the post office key. Mom and sis just kind of laughed...)
Honestly, if I can make a difference in one kid's life, I will be happy. And if teaching doesn't pan out, I still have my writing and my Environmental Science main degree to fall back on.
BTW, does anyone else think it's funny that this was supposed to be a yarn blog and it's become an everything-except-the-kitchen-sink thing instead?
Yeah. That's my cue to try sleep again.
Hang tight, dear readers. I'm sure there will be more excitement coming soon.
~Meaghan
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
So Much Excitement!
Hello my dear readers!
Life has gotten progressively awesome. Where to start?
Um, my parents got me a new laptop for school as an early birthday present. It's the first computer I have not bought myself. My old one was getting ready to bite the dust pretty hard, so this is amazing that they were able to do that for me. Total gratitude, you know?
I got my financial aid for the school year under control. It's all loans, yet again. But you know what? I am taking out enough in loans that I was able to put my notice in at work. This means I will be able to focus entirely on pursuing my education.
Speaking of which, I'm adding on a teaching certificate and possibly a minor in women's studies. Exciting times, my readers. :)
Tomorrow I get to see my best friend for the first time since New Year's. She lives in Boston with her boyfriend, so visits are few. It's always so good to see them. I can not wait.
Oh. And my birthday is in 12 days. So that's exciting. :)
I am sure there is more, but I'm a bit braindead and am not thinking clearly.
Until we meet again,
~Meaghan
P.S. I wrote this while listening to the theme for Khan from the new Star Trek movie. Awesome and epic all rolled into one.
Life has gotten progressively awesome. Where to start?
Um, my parents got me a new laptop for school as an early birthday present. It's the first computer I have not bought myself. My old one was getting ready to bite the dust pretty hard, so this is amazing that they were able to do that for me. Total gratitude, you know?
I got my financial aid for the school year under control. It's all loans, yet again. But you know what? I am taking out enough in loans that I was able to put my notice in at work. This means I will be able to focus entirely on pursuing my education.
Speaking of which, I'm adding on a teaching certificate and possibly a minor in women's studies. Exciting times, my readers. :)
Tomorrow I get to see my best friend for the first time since New Year's. She lives in Boston with her boyfriend, so visits are few. It's always so good to see them. I can not wait.
Oh. And my birthday is in 12 days. So that's exciting. :)
I am sure there is more, but I'm a bit braindead and am not thinking clearly.
Until we meet again,
~Meaghan
P.S. I wrote this while listening to the theme for Khan from the new Star Trek movie. Awesome and epic all rolled into one.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Everything in One
Hi there.
I didn't mean to leave you hanging, my dear, sweet readers. I know it's been almost two months since I last posted. I know that saying I've been busy is no excuse, either.
I've decided to revamp this blog a bit. It can't be just about knitting. I love knitting, I love yarn - but there's more to me than that. And I don't want to write if I feel I can't include all those other parts of me.
So this blog is now everything in one. Kinda like an everything bagel with cream cheese. :) I do hope we can start again, my readers.
You're probably having some questions and thoughts right now:
Meaghan, where have you been?
What have you been up to?
Yay, you aren't dead!
(I could be exaggerating, of course, but I choose to believe you're happy I'm alive.)
I can't remember where my last post left off, so forgive me if I seem redundant.
Let's see...
I'm enrolled to go back to school in the fall. I'm an Environmental Science major with an emphasis in Ecological Restoration. It seems like a far cry from my associates in Creative Writing, but I think the two will go hand in hand nicely. I'm hoping I can get a job with the EPA doing field work, or some other government position. I don't think I want desk work. I think I want to be out in the middle of it all.
I'm pretty excited about school. I like to read, I like to write, and I like to learn. I even like math and stuff, if you'll believe that.
(Which is good, cause I have to take a lot of Bio, Chem, and Statistics...)
Found out I'm going to be out of a job come May. As you may recall, I'm that awesome chick at the grocery store who trys to get you to try new products and stuff. Well. My boss was fired two weeks ago and emailed us; turns out, the company lost the contract with our major client, Kroger, as of May first.
(I feel like I should be more worried about discussing this, but what are they going to do, fire me? Come on.)
With the support of my family and boyfriend, I've decided not to pursue another job elsewhere. I mean, after the fall semester, I'm going to probably be taking 18 credit hours. And those are all going to be science classes. It feels weird, especially since money is tight for all of us in this little family unit. But I know God will provide.
My sister has decided to pursue opera. She has dreams of heading to New York and singing on a stage. There's a lot of musical talent in our family; she has everything she needs - talent, drive, and passion. I know she's going to light up the stages when she gets there. :)
My boyfriend is doing really well, too. It makes me happy. We've had a few rough patches the past month, but show me a relationship that hasn't. We're working on communication. The goal is to be able to get our own apartment shortly after we graduate with our respective degrees; then at some point, wedding bells will be chiming.
I'm not in as big of a hurry as I thought I was for that. I love Trev more than anyone in the world; but what we have is special and in both our minds, we're already married. We treat each other as equals, we respect and care for each other, we've stayed strong through some serious, serious crap. I think the wedding is just a formality. Don't get me wrong: I very much look forward to the day I become his offical wife. It's just, I'm not in a rush. I'm enjoying each day at a time. :)
This past week, I've been doing nothing but watch Numb3rs and knit on my sister's Doctor Who scarf. The project may be boring and tedious and painful, but it makes great knitting for watching television. And by watching Numb3rs via DVDs from the library, I don't have to deal with commercials, which is really nice.
(I have three favorite television shows: Numb3rs, which went off the air a few years ago, Bones, and CSI:NY, which I'm pretty sure isn't going to get signed for another season. Why do I like these shows? Because they're intelligent television. There's humor, there's science and math, there are great characters with great love lives that I actually can get behind. What can I say? My film class instructor last year said great script writers are moving towards television; I agree with him.)
I've also caved and joined Instagram. Look for me as birdietheknitter. If that doesn't work, let me know. I'm still on Twitter as well, under Birdgirl90. :)
Oh! So, a lot of you don't know this, but I was put on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication about two years ago for panic attacks. Well, I'm in an awesome place now and am in the process of getting off it. Sure, I am having some side effects - insomnia, hyperness, etc. But those are the same as when I went on it.
And I feel lighter. I feel less paranoid and sad and upset and worried. I feel like this weight has been lifted. :) I'm so very happy about it, I could do a dance.
Except I won't. Because it's, you know, 12:06 am.
Which means I should go to bed. But I just really wanted everyone to know I'm alive, I haven't forgotten you, and I'm back.
Welcome to a little bit of everything. I'm happy you're on this journey with me. :)
~Meaghan
I didn't mean to leave you hanging, my dear, sweet readers. I know it's been almost two months since I last posted. I know that saying I've been busy is no excuse, either.
I've decided to revamp this blog a bit. It can't be just about knitting. I love knitting, I love yarn - but there's more to me than that. And I don't want to write if I feel I can't include all those other parts of me.
So this blog is now everything in one. Kinda like an everything bagel with cream cheese. :) I do hope we can start again, my readers.
You're probably having some questions and thoughts right now:
Meaghan, where have you been?
What have you been up to?
Yay, you aren't dead!
(I could be exaggerating, of course, but I choose to believe you're happy I'm alive.)
I can't remember where my last post left off, so forgive me if I seem redundant.
Let's see...
I'm enrolled to go back to school in the fall. I'm an Environmental Science major with an emphasis in Ecological Restoration. It seems like a far cry from my associates in Creative Writing, but I think the two will go hand in hand nicely. I'm hoping I can get a job with the EPA doing field work, or some other government position. I don't think I want desk work. I think I want to be out in the middle of it all.
I'm pretty excited about school. I like to read, I like to write, and I like to learn. I even like math and stuff, if you'll believe that.
(Which is good, cause I have to take a lot of Bio, Chem, and Statistics...)
Found out I'm going to be out of a job come May. As you may recall, I'm that awesome chick at the grocery store who trys to get you to try new products and stuff. Well. My boss was fired two weeks ago and emailed us; turns out, the company lost the contract with our major client, Kroger, as of May first.
(I feel like I should be more worried about discussing this, but what are they going to do, fire me? Come on.)
With the support of my family and boyfriend, I've decided not to pursue another job elsewhere. I mean, after the fall semester, I'm going to probably be taking 18 credit hours. And those are all going to be science classes. It feels weird, especially since money is tight for all of us in this little family unit. But I know God will provide.
My sister has decided to pursue opera. She has dreams of heading to New York and singing on a stage. There's a lot of musical talent in our family; she has everything she needs - talent, drive, and passion. I know she's going to light up the stages when she gets there. :)
My boyfriend is doing really well, too. It makes me happy. We've had a few rough patches the past month, but show me a relationship that hasn't. We're working on communication. The goal is to be able to get our own apartment shortly after we graduate with our respective degrees; then at some point, wedding bells will be chiming.
I'm not in as big of a hurry as I thought I was for that. I love Trev more than anyone in the world; but what we have is special and in both our minds, we're already married. We treat each other as equals, we respect and care for each other, we've stayed strong through some serious, serious crap. I think the wedding is just a formality. Don't get me wrong: I very much look forward to the day I become his offical wife. It's just, I'm not in a rush. I'm enjoying each day at a time. :)
This past week, I've been doing nothing but watch Numb3rs and knit on my sister's Doctor Who scarf. The project may be boring and tedious and painful, but it makes great knitting for watching television. And by watching Numb3rs via DVDs from the library, I don't have to deal with commercials, which is really nice.
(I have three favorite television shows: Numb3rs, which went off the air a few years ago, Bones, and CSI:NY, which I'm pretty sure isn't going to get signed for another season. Why do I like these shows? Because they're intelligent television. There's humor, there's science and math, there are great characters with great love lives that I actually can get behind. What can I say? My film class instructor last year said great script writers are moving towards television; I agree with him.)
I've also caved and joined Instagram. Look for me as birdietheknitter. If that doesn't work, let me know. I'm still on Twitter as well, under Birdgirl90. :)
Oh! So, a lot of you don't know this, but I was put on an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication about two years ago for panic attacks. Well, I'm in an awesome place now and am in the process of getting off it. Sure, I am having some side effects - insomnia, hyperness, etc. But those are the same as when I went on it.
And I feel lighter. I feel less paranoid and sad and upset and worried. I feel like this weight has been lifted. :) I'm so very happy about it, I could do a dance.
Except I won't. Because it's, you know, 12:06 am.
Which means I should go to bed. But I just really wanted everyone to know I'm alive, I haven't forgotten you, and I'm back.
Welcome to a little bit of everything. I'm happy you're on this journey with me. :)
~Meaghan
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