Oh! Before I Forget!

Hey again, readers!

This didn't really fit with the last post, but I want to post it, so here's a second post in 20 minutes.

Again, brought to you by the school computer bar.

Moving is not happening the way that we expected  it to.  What my parents were hoping for is that since we were looking at apartments owned by the same company that we currently live in, we would be able to break the lease and move.

Not so much.

So the apartment is in the throws of packing with boxes and stuff scattered everywhere.  And we aren't moving until May.  Which is good for a few reasons: 1. Fiance and I finish school for the semester part way through May, so we'll be a lot less stressed about moving and 2. we can actually downsize for like the first time ever.

Normally when we move, everything is chaos and jumbled and we don't even sort our stuff, we just throw it in boxes.

This time will be different.

Sis seems to like living with her fiance at his moms house.  She did stay the night last night.  I'm going to try to reserve judgement and just see how things play out for her.  As long as she's happy, it should be good.

It did dawn on me yesterday that I do have liver disease.  It's kind of a weird feeling, knowing that stuff isn't quit right.  It's not affecting me just yet, and according to the doctors, I really just need to be aware.  I can still drink periodically and still function.  It's just strange.

So I've been changing my diet in an attempt to lose some weight.  No more soda, sugar in more moderation, and more veggies.  Fiance is very supportive and has been reading "Eat This, Not That" and "Drink This, Not That" with me.  We started a work out plan yesterday as well.

All in all, I think things are good though.  I did start having nightmares about the liver biopsy even though it really wasn't that bad and I had it done over a week ago.  Go figure.

I will have a post about the St. Brigid sweater in the next week as well as some of my other knitting.  I have a very full plate at the moment, so it may be closer to the weekend.  But I will have it posted.

And now I really do need to go get ready for my stats test.  I will write again soon.

Have a great day, readers! :)

~Meaghan

Tomorrow and Beyond

I've been a bit of a wreck, truth be told my readers.  Granted, today I am more calm about the procedure.

Yesterday though.  Geez.

I think my problem was that I looked up the pain factor for the liver biopsy.  Never do that.  For reals.

Here is what I know:

1. I know I have to be awake for the procedure because if I breathe when they insert the needle, they may puncture my lung.

2. I know I can expect to be very sore for the following week afterwards.

3. I know I'm going to be jacked up on drugs tomorrow before they do the thing.  From what I've been told, I will basically just not care. About anything.  (Which sounds a lot like being invincible or what depression did to me a few years ago.)

4. I know that this will be okay.

5. I know my mom and fiance will be there.

Beyond these things, I do not know really what to expect.

I can't dwell on it though.  Gotta power through.

Besides, I have chemistry homework due on Wed.  Can't let this slow me down.

So let me tell you some of the good and interesting things that have been going on in my life.  Because while this deal with my liver has been a bummer factor, it has not been the only thing.

Trev took me to dinner last night.  We went to Red Robin, the place we've been going to frequently since we started dating back in 2011.  We laughed and had a good time.  After the food, we went to the bookstore to try to figure out where to start for comic books.

I really, really love super hero movies.  I have since I discovered Watchmen back in 2009 and it grew when I was introduced to them by Trev in the start of our relationship.  There's just something so great about having awesome villains and powerful heroes.  Or, like in Watchmen, when the heroes really aren't heroes.  Anyway.  I want to start reading the comics (the only one I've ever read was Watchmen, and that was before the movie came out) because I think it'll be a great way to learn more about the characters I love.  So we went to the bookstore to try to see a good starting place for me.

It was great.

My knitting has been going well.  I finished my first pair of socks for the new year today.  The yarn is called Atom by String Theory Colorworks and it's great - purple, neon green, and grey, separated by strips of black.

I did have to quit my violin lessons again.  With everything going on, I just don't feel I have time for it right now.  I'm kinda sad about it, but I know that eventually I'll be able to go back to it.

School is going well overall, I think.  Chemistry is confusing as all get out, but besides that, I feel like I'm doing well.  I'm still pretty happy with my major.  Although, if I were to get an extra B.S., I'm realizing I would totally get on in aerospace engineering.  The stars fascinate me.  Space fascinates me.  While I know my calling is nature and Earth, a part of me (maybe it's a part we all have, actually) draws me towards the sky and unknown.

Beyond that, I think things are good.  Things are interesting.

(Speaking of interesting, I keep running into this guy on campus I had a crush on in community college before I met Trev.  You wanna talk weird.  It's been like three years.  Why now?)

So yeah.

Gotta survive the liver biopsy tomorrow and everything will be okay.

Please send me positive vibes, my dear sweet readers.  It is very much appreciated.

~Meaghan

Damned if They Do

And damned if they don't.

Well, readers, I know my absence has been incredibly long this round.  But for once, I really do have a good reason.

I have to get my liver biopsied this week.

I can't remember if I've blogged about this.  I've been trying to keep this stuff under wraps.  But here it is.

So, back in July, I went to my doctor's for help with an incredibly stubborn migraine.  While I was there, she noticed that I hadn't had blood work done in over a year.  So some routine blood was taken and I was on my way with my migraine meds.

A week later, I get a phone call.  My liver enzymes were elevated pretty high.  Normal liver enzymes are between like 40 and 60.  Mine were over 200.  Thinking it might be because I had gotten drunk for my birthday the week before and the fact that my migraine meds are Tylenol derivatives, my doctor had me lay off everything for a few weeks and then come in for more blood tests.

So I got more blood taken like two weeks later.

Liver still elevated.  Also, a diagnosis of low thyroid.  Went on a pill for that.  Started going off my antidepressant at the time.  Waited a few weeks.

More blood work.

Liver still elevated around 200.

Get completely off my antidepressant.

More blood work.

Liver still 200.

Good news, though.  My thyroid now looks normal.

Went in for an ultra sound of my liver, gall bladder, and kidney.

All look normal.  Like, my liver doesn't even look fatty.

Went off my birth control pill.

More blood work.

Liver still elevated.

Still around 200.

So finally, we were out of town in January, visiting my relatives for the first time since my grandma died last year (which was incredibly stressful on it's own, let me tell you) when the doctor called again.

I got sent to a specialist.

And so two weeks ago, I had yet one more round of blood tests for the specialist, including testing for autoimmune disorders like Celiac disease and lupis.

All negative.

Which leads us to last week, when the specialist called while I was in class and left me a message, telling me I need to get a liver biopsy.

Friday is doomsday.

I am not looking forward to the procedure.  I am not looking forward to the fact that I am going to basically be on bed rest for the weekend.  I am not looking forward to not being able to carry a backpack to school the following week.

I am looking forward to finally getting some answers.  I am grateful to live in a place where I can actually get this sort of thing taken care of.  I am thankful that it probably won't turn out to be something incredibly scary (I'm looking at you, cancer), although the fear in my head keeps trying to psych me out about it.

Have I mentioned I'm only 23?  That I'm a full time college student?  That I'm also getting married next year?

Seriously.  I have enough stress.

So where does this leave us?

I just want answers and something fixable.  This has been going on for seven months.

Truthfully, I'm scared to death.  The procedure is scary to me.  I have to be awake for it.  They're taking a bit of my liver through my ribcage.  Completely freaks me out.

And I'm scared about what it could be.  Maybe it'll be something simple, like my thyroid affecting things and the fact that I'm overweight.  I'm trying to lose weight anyway.  I eat pretty well over all.  If it's something else, I don't know what I'll do.  I feel so young.  I don't want to deal with this kind of crap.

But I can't think about it beyond this, either.  I just can't.

And that's where I've been, my readers.

I will try to stay with you.  I will try to be present.

Thank you eternally for your patience.

~Meaghan