Changes

Hey there, dear readers.

(I'm not even going to address the absence.)

Things are pretty okay in my section of the universe.  I've almost completely re-adjusted to fiance being out of town.  (It's been like what, two and a half weeks?)  I finally am over sleeping with the lights on!  This is huge!  And he'll be home in a week and a half, so I'm pretty happy about that.  :)

I went shopping for a swimsuit last week.  It was not the best thing that has ever happened to me.  See, I'm not exactly a small girl.  Rather, I was a big girl to begin with and then I went and gained an extra 40 or 50 pounds the past few years.  And it was kind of brought to my attention when Wal-Mart didn't carry a suit large enough for me.

I ended up at JCPenney's (not the store I worked at a few years ago; I will never, ever go back to that hellhole) and got a cute suit that was also on sale.  While there, I found this dress I liked and decided to try it on for a confidence boost.  It fit wonderfully and I thought I looked pretty good.  My mom was with me and told me it slimmed me down and looked good.  So I had her take a picture of me in it.

Um.

I didn't realize how heavy I was until I looked at that picture.

Now, before anyone gets mad at me for feeling bad about my weight, let me explain some things.  I am nearly 24 years old.  I have a low thyroid, high cholesterol, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, and a family history of heart attacks, hardened arteries, and diabetes.  Some times, I stop breathing in my sleep and wake myself up.

I am basically a walking time bomb.  I needed a wake up call.

You would think the diagnosis of liver disease would do it.  But it took looking at a picture of myself in a dress that I thought was cute to realize how bad I've let things go.  This isn't to say that I'm a slob or anything - I shower regularly, I dress well, I carry myself well.  I just had a lot of setbacks the past few years that have caused me to gain a crazy amount of weight.

What happened over the weekend was I realized that I am getting married in less than a year and I do not want to look like that in my wedding pictures.

So I'm using a program on my phone that I've used before (and it works, I just chose not to stay with it last time) called My Fitness Pal.  Basically, it tracks my calorie consumption.  I'm on 1340 calories a day; when I exercise, I gain back calories.

In a week, I've lost 6 pounds.  I think those are probably from cutting soda out of my life and flushing my body with water (I never drink enough water) and I expect it to slow down.  But if I could be down 20 pounds by August, when I go dress shopping, that would be amazing.  The goal is to be down a total of 40 to 50 pounds by my wedding in May.  That puts me at a weight that is still high for me, but is healthier than where I am.  It also is where I was when I met my fiance back in 2011.

So that's life for me now.  It really is a lifestyle change.  I plan on staying with it and I am hoping it works.  I'm also praying a lot, and I feel rather confident that whoever is watching me up there is going to help me out too.

On top of all this, my family is in the process of moving from one apartment to another across town.  This is a positive move, as it means I'll be able to walk to catch the train in the mornings for school.  It's also positive for the whole family because there are so many places to walk to around the new complex.  There are two grocery stores, several restaurants, a movie theater, and an ice cream place, to name a few.  So I think we're all pretty excited.

But seriously, moving is hard work.  And it's difficult without my fiance, who is awesome at packing and heavy lifting.  As he keeps reassuring me on the phone, it will be okay.  We will get it done.  And I believe him.

It's still a lot though.

And that is your lovely update. :) I'm off to pack a box before bed.

~Meaghan

Busy, Busy, Busy

Hey readers!

I really am trying to update daily again.  Honestly, I am. Yesterday got crazy busy, though, so you may have noticed that there was no post for it.

Fiance and I were helping a friend of ours move, the same friend who is getting her first round of blood transfusions done today.  We made so many trips yesterday and it took most of the day.  Very exhausting.  And emotionally exhausting too, because that's what happens when you spend upwards of six hours with someone.

I am very happy to report that she is settled in her new place.  It's the basement of a friend's house, but it's a good basement and a good friend and really, a good place to start new.  She is in much better spirits about the treatment and we are all hopeful that she won't die, but rather heal.

Today I am having lunch with my sister when she gets her school lunch break.  I miss her so much, it's not even funny.  I thought I would feel better about her moving out than I do.  The thing about sisters is that they kind of are like best friends - you can tell them anything, go on adventures, gossip, etc.

We weren't really close as kids.  There's a three year age gap, which isn't a problem now, but I think up until we were like 14 and 11, it was present.  I'm the oldest and I was always trying to do my own thing and yeah.  But moving changed everything and over the past probably ten years we've become really close.

So I'm pretty excited to go have lunch with her today. :)

Then tonight, one of my friends and I are going out for Mexican food.  It'll be nice to have some time to catch up and not worry about things and have a nice drink for the first time since July (thanks, liver!) because I can.  Sangritas and enchiladas, here I come.  And catching up is going to rock too, since both of us have been crazy busy since Christmas.

I've been learning some cool stuff recently too, about mythology and the pantheon of Gods and Goddesses and whatnot, but I'm not quite ready to share that yet.  Be prepared, though, because that might be a blog in the near future.

And now, I'm going to knit a bit and have a V8, because I am totally addicted to those right now.

Happy Monday, readers!

~Meaghan

Oh! Before I Forget!

Hey again, readers!

This didn't really fit with the last post, but I want to post it, so here's a second post in 20 minutes.

Again, brought to you by the school computer bar.

Moving is not happening the way that we expected  it to.  What my parents were hoping for is that since we were looking at apartments owned by the same company that we currently live in, we would be able to break the lease and move.

Not so much.

So the apartment is in the throws of packing with boxes and stuff scattered everywhere.  And we aren't moving until May.  Which is good for a few reasons: 1. Fiance and I finish school for the semester part way through May, so we'll be a lot less stressed about moving and 2. we can actually downsize for like the first time ever.

Normally when we move, everything is chaos and jumbled and we don't even sort our stuff, we just throw it in boxes.

This time will be different.

Sis seems to like living with her fiance at his moms house.  She did stay the night last night.  I'm going to try to reserve judgement and just see how things play out for her.  As long as she's happy, it should be good.

It did dawn on me yesterday that I do have liver disease.  It's kind of a weird feeling, knowing that stuff isn't quit right.  It's not affecting me just yet, and according to the doctors, I really just need to be aware.  I can still drink periodically and still function.  It's just strange.

So I've been changing my diet in an attempt to lose some weight.  No more soda, sugar in more moderation, and more veggies.  Fiance is very supportive and has been reading "Eat This, Not That" and "Drink This, Not That" with me.  We started a work out plan yesterday as well.

All in all, I think things are good though.  I did start having nightmares about the liver biopsy even though it really wasn't that bad and I had it done over a week ago.  Go figure.

I will have a post about the St. Brigid sweater in the next week as well as some of my other knitting.  I have a very full plate at the moment, so it may be closer to the weekend.  But I will have it posted.

And now I really do need to go get ready for my stats test.  I will write again soon.

Have a great day, readers! :)

~Meaghan

The Sunday Update

Hey there, dear readers!

I would like to start by sharing some good news.

The liver biopsy was not nearly as painful or scary as I thought it was going to be!  The doctor's were all very gracious and kind, I was numbed up very, very well, and while I had to be awake for the whole thing, everyone talked with me throughout.  It was not the worst medical experience of my life.

(I think last summer when I had the flu and couldn't stop puking was worse, actually.  But I digress.)

And the results came in.

I have been diagnosed with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.

I can hear you on the other side of this blog.  What does that mean?  Are you okay?  What's going on?

It's actually a better result than I could have hoped for.  What it means is that my liver is inflamed due to fat cells.  I have family histories of obesity and high cholesterol, and I just recently diagnosed with high cholesterol.  (It really was just a matter of time, unfortunately.)

So by getting more exercise and eating better overall, plus a bit of weight loss, I should be okay.  I've been working on eating better since January anyway.  Starting Monday (oh, I guess that's tomorrow, lol), my fiance and I are going to work out together three times a week.  So it should be good.

There have been some major changes at home.  My sister and her fiance (they just recently got engaged) moved out and to his mom's house.  I don't really know how I feel about it.  I think I like her significant other. but he rubs me a bit the wrong way.  When he was living here, he basically stayed in their room all day and didn't really do much of anything.  And he talks in circles, which bugs the living daylights out of me.  And he sighs all the time.

But she's happy with him and they decided that moving out was the best option.  As long as she's okay, I'm not going to worry about it.  She'll be 21 in May.  So really, we couldn't stop her anyway.

This past week was nuts though.  Tempers were high until Thursday and the whole thing was pretty volatile.  But everything calmed down and sis left on good terms with the family.  She's going to be coming over for dinner twice a week, including family night, and things seem to be okay between her and my parents.  It does feel weird though.

(Fiance and I have been talking about married student housing next year once we're hitched.  But we're older too, so it seems like a logical next step.  And it's not as rushed as this - they literally were out within a week of deciding to leave.)

So my family unit is now my parents, my fiance, and myself.  We're in the process of downsizing from a 3 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom apartment in a more ideal location.  Parents are meeting with the new apartment people tomorrow and if all goes well, we'll be moved in a week.

Completely crazy and fast.

(In my experience, when things are supposed to happen, they usually go crazy stupid fast.  When we moved to Colorado, we literally were out of our house and packed within two weeks of my dad getting the job out here.  Does this happen to anyone else?  Crazy stupid fast, that is?)

So what have I been doing?

Procrastinating.

I've been kind of working on statistics homework this week.  And I've been knitting a lot.  My St. Brigid sweater is coming along beautifully, even though I can only do a few rows at a time.  That's the problem with cables.  They are very time consuming, at least for me.

(I'll do a separate blog about the sweater in the next few weeks.  Gotta get through packing and moving first.)

I've also been watching a lot of movies.  Fiance took me to see the Lego Movie this week.  Um, totally awesome.  Morgan Freeman did one of the voices, and Will Farrell was in it as well.  It was funny, fresh, and just fun.  I completely recommend it.

(Afterwards, we bought Legos.  I had never had my own Legos before due to price and whatnot; he bought me some.  It's awesome.  We built them up together the other night.  I don't care what anyone thinks - building Legos with someone you love is amazing.)

I also saw the Avengers this week.  I'm a little slow getting on the super hero band wagon.  Up until the past week, I really was just a DC kind of girl.  Batman will always hold a special place in my heart.

But the Avengers blew me out of the water.  Marvel has won me over.  Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston) is probably one of my all time favorite villains now.  He's crazy and handsome and charming and evil, yet sympathetic in a way.  And Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow - damn.  Can I be her when I grow up?  Pretty, pretty please?

Plus all the other actors and characters (I love Chris Evans as Captain America) just kind of blew me out of the water.  I'm now in the process of getting my hands on all the movies that came before Avengers.  I have Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man, all waiting to be watched before I return them to the library.

(Tonight's choice is Captain America, in case anyone is curious.)

So yeah.  Lots of procrastinating.

Which, depending on how tomorrow goes, will probably change to packing.  Lots of packing.  Fiance is already boxing up the living room as we speak.

Wow this was long.  My bad.

I hope you have a lovely Sunday, my dear readers.  I will be back with more exciting information as it becomes available to me.

Be kind to each other while I'm away. :)

~Meaghan