The Sunday Update

Hey there, dear readers!

I would like to start by sharing some good news.

The liver biopsy was not nearly as painful or scary as I thought it was going to be!  The doctor's were all very gracious and kind, I was numbed up very, very well, and while I had to be awake for the whole thing, everyone talked with me throughout.  It was not the worst medical experience of my life.

(I think last summer when I had the flu and couldn't stop puking was worse, actually.  But I digress.)

And the results came in.

I have been diagnosed with non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.

I can hear you on the other side of this blog.  What does that mean?  Are you okay?  What's going on?

It's actually a better result than I could have hoped for.  What it means is that my liver is inflamed due to fat cells.  I have family histories of obesity and high cholesterol, and I just recently diagnosed with high cholesterol.  (It really was just a matter of time, unfortunately.)

So by getting more exercise and eating better overall, plus a bit of weight loss, I should be okay.  I've been working on eating better since January anyway.  Starting Monday (oh, I guess that's tomorrow, lol), my fiance and I are going to work out together three times a week.  So it should be good.

There have been some major changes at home.  My sister and her fiance (they just recently got engaged) moved out and to his mom's house.  I don't really know how I feel about it.  I think I like her significant other. but he rubs me a bit the wrong way.  When he was living here, he basically stayed in their room all day and didn't really do much of anything.  And he talks in circles, which bugs the living daylights out of me.  And he sighs all the time.

But she's happy with him and they decided that moving out was the best option.  As long as she's okay, I'm not going to worry about it.  She'll be 21 in May.  So really, we couldn't stop her anyway.

This past week was nuts though.  Tempers were high until Thursday and the whole thing was pretty volatile.  But everything calmed down and sis left on good terms with the family.  She's going to be coming over for dinner twice a week, including family night, and things seem to be okay between her and my parents.  It does feel weird though.

(Fiance and I have been talking about married student housing next year once we're hitched.  But we're older too, so it seems like a logical next step.  And it's not as rushed as this - they literally were out within a week of deciding to leave.)

So my family unit is now my parents, my fiance, and myself.  We're in the process of downsizing from a 3 bedroom apartment to a 2 bedroom apartment in a more ideal location.  Parents are meeting with the new apartment people tomorrow and if all goes well, we'll be moved in a week.

Completely crazy and fast.

(In my experience, when things are supposed to happen, they usually go crazy stupid fast.  When we moved to Colorado, we literally were out of our house and packed within two weeks of my dad getting the job out here.  Does this happen to anyone else?  Crazy stupid fast, that is?)

So what have I been doing?

Procrastinating.

I've been kind of working on statistics homework this week.  And I've been knitting a lot.  My St. Brigid sweater is coming along beautifully, even though I can only do a few rows at a time.  That's the problem with cables.  They are very time consuming, at least for me.

(I'll do a separate blog about the sweater in the next few weeks.  Gotta get through packing and moving first.)

I've also been watching a lot of movies.  Fiance took me to see the Lego Movie this week.  Um, totally awesome.  Morgan Freeman did one of the voices, and Will Farrell was in it as well.  It was funny, fresh, and just fun.  I completely recommend it.

(Afterwards, we bought Legos.  I had never had my own Legos before due to price and whatnot; he bought me some.  It's awesome.  We built them up together the other night.  I don't care what anyone thinks - building Legos with someone you love is amazing.)

I also saw the Avengers this week.  I'm a little slow getting on the super hero band wagon.  Up until the past week, I really was just a DC kind of girl.  Batman will always hold a special place in my heart.

But the Avengers blew me out of the water.  Marvel has won me over.  Loki (played by Tom Hiddleston) is probably one of my all time favorite villains now.  He's crazy and handsome and charming and evil, yet sympathetic in a way.  And Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow - damn.  Can I be her when I grow up?  Pretty, pretty please?

Plus all the other actors and characters (I love Chris Evans as Captain America) just kind of blew me out of the water.  I'm now in the process of getting my hands on all the movies that came before Avengers.  I have Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man, all waiting to be watched before I return them to the library.

(Tonight's choice is Captain America, in case anyone is curious.)

So yeah.  Lots of procrastinating.

Which, depending on how tomorrow goes, will probably change to packing.  Lots of packing.  Fiance is already boxing up the living room as we speak.

Wow this was long.  My bad.

I hope you have a lovely Sunday, my dear readers.  I will be back with more exciting information as it becomes available to me.

Be kind to each other while I'm away. :)

~Meaghan

Tomorrow and Beyond

I've been a bit of a wreck, truth be told my readers.  Granted, today I am more calm about the procedure.

Yesterday though.  Geez.

I think my problem was that I looked up the pain factor for the liver biopsy.  Never do that.  For reals.

Here is what I know:

1. I know I have to be awake for the procedure because if I breathe when they insert the needle, they may puncture my lung.

2. I know I can expect to be very sore for the following week afterwards.

3. I know I'm going to be jacked up on drugs tomorrow before they do the thing.  From what I've been told, I will basically just not care. About anything.  (Which sounds a lot like being invincible or what depression did to me a few years ago.)

4. I know that this will be okay.

5. I know my mom and fiance will be there.

Beyond these things, I do not know really what to expect.

I can't dwell on it though.  Gotta power through.

Besides, I have chemistry homework due on Wed.  Can't let this slow me down.

So let me tell you some of the good and interesting things that have been going on in my life.  Because while this deal with my liver has been a bummer factor, it has not been the only thing.

Trev took me to dinner last night.  We went to Red Robin, the place we've been going to frequently since we started dating back in 2011.  We laughed and had a good time.  After the food, we went to the bookstore to try to figure out where to start for comic books.

I really, really love super hero movies.  I have since I discovered Watchmen back in 2009 and it grew when I was introduced to them by Trev in the start of our relationship.  There's just something so great about having awesome villains and powerful heroes.  Or, like in Watchmen, when the heroes really aren't heroes.  Anyway.  I want to start reading the comics (the only one I've ever read was Watchmen, and that was before the movie came out) because I think it'll be a great way to learn more about the characters I love.  So we went to the bookstore to try to see a good starting place for me.

It was great.

My knitting has been going well.  I finished my first pair of socks for the new year today.  The yarn is called Atom by String Theory Colorworks and it's great - purple, neon green, and grey, separated by strips of black.

I did have to quit my violin lessons again.  With everything going on, I just don't feel I have time for it right now.  I'm kinda sad about it, but I know that eventually I'll be able to go back to it.

School is going well overall, I think.  Chemistry is confusing as all get out, but besides that, I feel like I'm doing well.  I'm still pretty happy with my major.  Although, if I were to get an extra B.S., I'm realizing I would totally get on in aerospace engineering.  The stars fascinate me.  Space fascinates me.  While I know my calling is nature and Earth, a part of me (maybe it's a part we all have, actually) draws me towards the sky and unknown.

Beyond that, I think things are good.  Things are interesting.

(Speaking of interesting, I keep running into this guy on campus I had a crush on in community college before I met Trev.  You wanna talk weird.  It's been like three years.  Why now?)

So yeah.

Gotta survive the liver biopsy tomorrow and everything will be okay.

Please send me positive vibes, my dear sweet readers.  It is very much appreciated.

~Meaghan

Damned if They Do

And damned if they don't.

Well, readers, I know my absence has been incredibly long this round.  But for once, I really do have a good reason.

I have to get my liver biopsied this week.

I can't remember if I've blogged about this.  I've been trying to keep this stuff under wraps.  But here it is.

So, back in July, I went to my doctor's for help with an incredibly stubborn migraine.  While I was there, she noticed that I hadn't had blood work done in over a year.  So some routine blood was taken and I was on my way with my migraine meds.

A week later, I get a phone call.  My liver enzymes were elevated pretty high.  Normal liver enzymes are between like 40 and 60.  Mine were over 200.  Thinking it might be because I had gotten drunk for my birthday the week before and the fact that my migraine meds are Tylenol derivatives, my doctor had me lay off everything for a few weeks and then come in for more blood tests.

So I got more blood taken like two weeks later.

Liver still elevated.  Also, a diagnosis of low thyroid.  Went on a pill for that.  Started going off my antidepressant at the time.  Waited a few weeks.

More blood work.

Liver still elevated around 200.

Get completely off my antidepressant.

More blood work.

Liver still 200.

Good news, though.  My thyroid now looks normal.

Went in for an ultra sound of my liver, gall bladder, and kidney.

All look normal.  Like, my liver doesn't even look fatty.

Went off my birth control pill.

More blood work.

Liver still elevated.

Still around 200.

So finally, we were out of town in January, visiting my relatives for the first time since my grandma died last year (which was incredibly stressful on it's own, let me tell you) when the doctor called again.

I got sent to a specialist.

And so two weeks ago, I had yet one more round of blood tests for the specialist, including testing for autoimmune disorders like Celiac disease and lupis.

All negative.

Which leads us to last week, when the specialist called while I was in class and left me a message, telling me I need to get a liver biopsy.

Friday is doomsday.

I am not looking forward to the procedure.  I am not looking forward to the fact that I am going to basically be on bed rest for the weekend.  I am not looking forward to not being able to carry a backpack to school the following week.

I am looking forward to finally getting some answers.  I am grateful to live in a place where I can actually get this sort of thing taken care of.  I am thankful that it probably won't turn out to be something incredibly scary (I'm looking at you, cancer), although the fear in my head keeps trying to psych me out about it.

Have I mentioned I'm only 23?  That I'm a full time college student?  That I'm also getting married next year?

Seriously.  I have enough stress.

So where does this leave us?

I just want answers and something fixable.  This has been going on for seven months.

Truthfully, I'm scared to death.  The procedure is scary to me.  I have to be awake for it.  They're taking a bit of my liver through my ribcage.  Completely freaks me out.

And I'm scared about what it could be.  Maybe it'll be something simple, like my thyroid affecting things and the fact that I'm overweight.  I'm trying to lose weight anyway.  I eat pretty well over all.  If it's something else, I don't know what I'll do.  I feel so young.  I don't want to deal with this kind of crap.

But I can't think about it beyond this, either.  I just can't.

And that's where I've been, my readers.

I will try to stay with you.  I will try to be present.

Thank you eternally for your patience.

~Meaghan