A Feeling of Insignificance

Hi there, my dear readers.

You may or may not have heard in the news what I am about to blog about.  There has been yet another shooting in Colorado.

This one took place in a high school about ten minutes from where I live.  A young man entered the school, searching for a teacher, shooting a young girl who is in critical condition at the hospital, and ultimately taking his own life in the library.

(I do not know more.  I will not go into more.  Go look at the news if you want that.  This is where I'm going to decompress.)

We heard the sirens Friday afternoon as the firetrucks and ambulances raced down our road.  Honestly, I think all of us in the living room thought it was just another automobile accident.  They are pretty common at the intersections by our apartment.

It wasn't until I checked Facebook that I knew something was wrong.  We turned on the news. 

Another shooting.

Several things about this make it hit close for me.

For one, one of my best friends has a dad who is a teacher.  He teaches at Arapahoe High School where the shooting was.  This is my friend whose mom was a teacher at Columbine when the shooting happened there and who lost her babysitter and neighbor as one of the victims.

So I called her immediately.  I am happy to report that her dad made it out okay and that they are all doing alright.  Shaken up.  But safe.

Another thing.  My family and I frequent this area where Arapahoe is.  I work sometimes at the King Soopers where they were sending students after evacuating the school.  The odds of us being there are so high. 

And the youth group of the church I attend.  The church youth group where my friend (mentioned above) works part time has a good chunk of students who attend Arapahoe.

(I am happy to report that they are all safe as well.  I don't know about their mental states, but physically they are ok.)

I am so sad. 

I was working today at another King Soopers, passing out M&M's,  and there were so many teens and adults coming through in their Arapahoe gear.  One of the baggers (a young man about 16 or so) had "Pray for Clare" on his name tag.  I asked him about it and about how he was doing; I gave him extra M&M's. 

It didn't feel like enough.

I do not consider myself a Christian.  But I am spiritual and I do know that God or Goddess is there.

And all I feel I can do right now is pray.  Even if it is just calling God over and over again.

Because everything else feels incredibly insignificant.