Soon, Spring Break

Honestly, it's not like I'm even doing anything exciting for spring break.  I'm not going anywhere exotic, or at all.  I'm not getting drunk, I'm not partying it up, I'm not headed for Key West.  It sounds crazy boring, right?

Wrong.

Do you have any idea how nice it's going to be to actually get to sleep past seven in the morning and to not have to drag my tush to the train station, ride the train forty minutes to school, and then sit through classes that hardly make sense to me at this point????

Alright, that sounds kind of bad.  I don't hate school.  I don't.  It's just, as I've mentioned before on here, this semester is kicking my ass into the ground.  I am worn down and need a break.

And riding the train is kind of fun.  It goes fast and it gives me a sense of responsibility, as I have to make sure I catch it at the right times and get off at the right stops.  I've learned how to nap while still keeping track of train stops.  If that isn't something awesome, then I don't know what is.

When I was in community college, working on my writing degree, school was really easy for me.  This feels like a bit of a dirty confession, typing that.  But it was.  It was crazy easy for me.  Writing is in my blood.  It's one of the few things in life that comes naturally to me.  I was able to do rough drafts of poems and creative non-fiction essays then day before I had to have them ready for peer review and they would seemingly write themselves.  And while some of them were crap, most of them were somewhat good.

Science is a whole other ball game.  It's like being on Vulcan.  Half of the stuff doesn't make sense to me, and I am literally crawling through these classes as if I'm in a pit and my finger nails are the only thing holding me up.  The only class I have an A in right now is my music class, and that is because I'm musically inclined.

Why am I doing this to myself?  Why am I taking classes that make me feel so dumb?

Because when it works, it works beautifully.  And that satisfaction, I'm learning, is a huge pay off.

And because continuing an English path does not appeal to me.  I don't want to necessarily write stories for a living, though writing on the side is good.  I don't really want to teach about nuances and deeper meanings and the structure of a sentence to high school kids.

I did the writing because it was fun and I enjoyed it.

I'm doing science because it's my calling.

I need to be outside.  I need to be in the open air and in the trees.  I can't be cooped up.  I get so depressed when I lose my connection with nature.

That is why.

And damn, spring break is going to be well earned.

So, what's the check list to get done between now and then?

~Stats homework
~Chem homework
~Another paper in music
~Reading in all my classes

Today is Wed.  I'm updating this from school.  That means that when I get home today after Chemistry, I should be able to sit down and work on stuff.  So I can do this.  I can do this.

My friend is starting blood transfusions on Monday.  She's moving this weekend.  I think Trev and I are going to try to help her finish up.  I am still pretty worried about what could happen, but I can't dwell.  I have to trust that she's going to be okay, that this is going to be okay.

I'm back to writing with a passion and fury.  Blogging daily again is helping.  Plus, I have a few notebooks with me.  I forgot how much I need to release the stuff in my head.  It gets awfully full in there.

Alright, time to get lunch and head to class.

Spring break soon.  Spring break soon.

~Meaghan